A Tortured Soul

Chapter 10

*Hides behind story*

Hi guys... Its, uh, been a while. I know I'm a terrible person for not updating, but I hit TERRIBLE writer's block. I know that's not really an excuse... But anyway. It's here now, right!

It's short, but this is a filler chapter anyway.

Please enjoy!

~TH~

Tony stood in the doorway of the hospital room, watching. Natasha was sitting beside the sleeping Captain, running her fingers through his hair. She had barely left Steve's side in the almost two weeks he had been back. The one time she had left hadn't ended well.

He'd kept his distance. The guilt he felt every time he saw him was acute. It had already woken him up on several occasions. He couldn't help but feel responsible. The Examiner had put the blame upon Tony. He couldn't help but except it.

"Hey, Tony,"

The billionaire jumped at the voice. He had been so wrapped up in his own thought that he hadn't noticed Natasha turn toward him.

"How is he?" was all he could manage to say.

She gave a tired smile. "Alive. Recovering. Here. It's more than we had before."

"Hm," he gave a noncommittal grunt.

"You know it's not your fault." She said, still running her fingers through the blonde hair.

"They-"

"Blamed you to get in everyone's heads."

Tony gave a hesitant nod. "Has he... Said anything, about, you know."

"No," she said cautiously.

Not coherently. Tony silently acknowledged.

He heard a gasp come from the bed. Tony's eyes shot to Steve. The Captain had a death grip on Natasha's hand, his eyes wide with fear. The soldier's terrified gaze was directly on him.

Tony watched, frozen in place, as Natasha began tapping something on his hand.

Steve's only response was to shake his head. The shaking got more intense until he said something to her.

The assassin turned back to Tony with apologetic eyes. "I think you need to leave."

He turned and left without a word. He had caused enough trouble as it was.

~A~

Steve got better. Physically at least. Natasha kept Tony updated. He wasn't going to risk another incident.

Thanks to the super-soldier serum, Steve's mutilated knee was healing. Not as fast as usual, but better than it would have under normal "human" circumstances. His eyes were slowly making a full comeback, his hearing had yet to make any improvement. The doctors didn't think he would.

Eating was the biggest concern at the moment. The soldier had stayed hooked up to different IV drips and occasionally even feeding tubes. The few times Natasha had been able to coax any food into him, he had thrown it up within the hour. His stomach had shrunk. That they were sure of. Whether there was other, unseen damage would be made known with time.

Bruce had spoken to Tony about it. The doctor was fairly convinced that it was mostly psychological at this point.

Steve had gotten up once, according to Natasha. He had a heavy limp but made it all the way to the bathroom by himself.

Small victories.

It seemed insane to be celebrating fifty steps when there was a time that Cap could benchpress a helicopter.

Even as physical improvements were made, Tony still heard the worried whispers between Nat and Bruce. Every time he asked, he would always be given all the ways Steve was improving. He knew there was more going on.

There was only one person in the loop who would be completely unafraid to tell Tony the bitter truth.

"Barton!" Tony pounded on Clint's door. "Let me in, I need to talk to you!"

The door opened with an annoyed grumble. "Whadya want, Stark?" He looked only half awake.

"The truth. I know you're spying in on Steve. Natasha and Bruce won't tell me what's going on. Too afraid to hurt my feeling or something. I'm sick of it. I want the truth."

Clint crossed his arms. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Tony said with no hesitation.

"The truth?"

"Yes." He confirmed again.

"The truth is that Steve's lost it. He doesn't sleep unless he's making contact with someone. He's paranoid when he's awake, his eyes always darting around the room. He spends more time in a state of delirium. The word 'conscious' is probably an exaggeration. Don't get me wrong. He has good moments, but as a whole, it's better for everyone when he's asleep. At least when he's not having nightmares. Those are downright torture. I'm surprised you don't hear the screams. And if you're wondering if he blames you?"

Tony held his breath, hoping, but already knowing the answer.

"He does. I don't think it's hate so much as fear. He's scared of you. The very mention of your name had him tensing."

That was what Tony had been afraid of.

"Listen," Clint kept talking, "Back when Steve was gone, I said some things I probably shouldn't have. I know you had nothing to do with him being taken, but we both know that I believed it for a bit. That was my bad. I let my anger take control. But you have to remember, Steve wasn't here. He was being told at his weakest points that you betrayed him. It's going to take time. But Steve is strong, he'll pull through."

Tony nodded, as he turned to walk away.

"Tony!" He turned back around, "It's not your fault. None of it was. Don't let them get you too. One is bad enough."

The billionaire hesitated a minute before nodding. "I'll be in the workshop if anyone needs me."

Tony needed to get away before he made things worse.

~TH~

New chapter, soonish 🙃.

Really, I'll try to update soon.

Oh! And if you're into Hamilton, check out my new Hamilton One-Shot!

Don't forget to comment and vote (but especially vote 😉)!

God bless,