The Better Swan (J. Black)

The Truth

I walk into the house with fear coursing through me.

She knows. She knows I'm a monster. After I have worked my ass off trying to keep this from her, trying to protect her, Count Dracula just had to fucking tell her.

Maybe she doesn't know about me though. I didn't really ask the Cullens for specifics before flipping my shit.

Maybe she only knows about the Cullens. I get up to Bella's room and lightly knock. She opens the door and looks at me, and I mean really looks at me. Like she's trying to figure out whether or not I have fangs. I smile. "So I guess the blood's out of the bag. Get it? Blood bag. No? Okay." She doesn't look frightened in the slightest, thank god. She doesn't know.

"You know." She stated. My smile disappeared and I walked into her room with a sigh. "Yes, I know. I've known for awhile." She looked a little hurt at that. I went over to her and grabbed her hands gently.

"I know what you're thinking, and the reason I didn't tell you is because it wasn't my secret to tell. I'm so sorry I kept you in the dark." 

I stared at her intently as she couldn't meet my eyes. "Ella, I know you have another secret." I froze then, as she ripped out of my grasp and moved towards the window.

I swallowed thickly, removing any trace of fear from my face. "What do you mean?" I looked towards her as I felt myself losing control of my emotions, my fear especially.

"When I confronted Edward, he mentioned you. He said that you also have a secret. He didn't say what, but he told me you weren't exactly human."

It felt like my heart was breaking. After all I've tried to keep her in the dark, after trying to keep her from learning the truth of what really lurks in the shadows, of what corrupts my very being, Edward just had to mention me.

"Elle, we are sisters. Even if it's not by blood. So, I'm going to ask, what are you?" I nearly choked.

I looked around and noticed my book on her desk. I laughed humorlessly. "You tell me, since you put it upon yourself to look through my room."

She spun around and spotted the book laying on her bed. "Ella, I can explain. I am just so tired of the secrets, it's killing me. The secrets are killing me. I feel like I'm losing my head because I don't know what is real or what's not anymore."

Tears gathered in my eyes. "I kept things from you to protect you, because I didn't want to look you in the eyes when you have fear in them from me. Bella, I turned into a monster. I'm a monster with zero control over my actions. I see things, horrible things that happen to innocent people, and I can't help them."

The tears finally fell, cascading down my face as a sob broke from my chest. Bella gathered me in her arms. "I can't help them." I sobbed and she hushed me. 

"Ella, you're not a monster. Neither are the Cullens. None of you asked for this." I nodded, though it was a lie, a cruel, hopeless lie.

~

"So what have you read in the book?" I basically told Bella everything besides the things involving the wolves, again, not my secret to tell.

"Um, I haven't really read much about it, but from what what I've read there are stages." I informed while I ran a brush through her hair. "Stages?" I hummed in agreement.

"The first stage is what I have, and am going through. It's where I scream if someone suffers a violent death, such as murder. The next stage is where I can appear where a death is taking place, like a grim reaper,it's also when I appear more ghostly. The last stage is where I'll be able to turn into an animal that represents death or witchcraft, but I think that'll be when I take on the appearance of the retched old woman."