Through Demon Eyes

This Time I Won't Forget (Part 1)

"Confused what I thought with something I felt

Confuse what I feel with something that's real

I tried to sell my soul last night

Funny, he wouldn't even take a bite" Kongos – Come With Me Now

Sam drove past the gates at a storage facility where he rented a small, refrigerated unit. He left Cas in the car, walked into the unit, pulled a box off of the shelf and placed it on the ground. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

She answered on the second ring, "Sam?"

"Yes, Bobby's house. Bring him and whatever you need to do what we talked about."

"You're taking a huge risk." she replied.

"I know Coyote. Just do it. Oh, you'll need to keep an angel out of the way as well."

"What? How am I supposed to do that?"

"I'll show you when you get here. Leave now." He hung up. Cas was still sitting in the car but that didn't mean he hadn't listened in. Sam opened the car door, slid in and shut it. Cas looked at him, waiting. The benefit of angelic patience. He was going to have to wait a few more hours. There was no point in telling Cas anything until Sam needed him to know. They got back on the road, another hour passed.

"You do realize I can sense what you have in the trunk," Cas mentioned, "Your angel warding sigil has been damaged."

"And?"

"I just thought you should know that you keeping silent isn't keeping me completely in the dark. How is going down that path going to help save Dean?" Cas's blue eyes bore into the side of his face. He could feel the intensity of the stare and was damn happy that Cas had warded them from angels all those years ago.

"As you pointed out, he has the First Blade. I'll need every advantage I can get." Sam cranked up the radio and ignored Cas's looks the rest of the trip.

They pulled onto Bobby's property a few hours later. The cars were more rusted, the charred ruins of the house had crumpled even further to the ground. The pain he had felt when he and Dean had first seen the destroyed house, the only place they could call home for so many years, came back with a vengeance. So much lost in their lives, what had it all been for.

Sam and Cas got out of the car, and Sam paced off where the other entrance to the basement should be. The panic room should have survived the fire, hopefully. He kicked aside bits of charred wood, pulled some weeds out of the ground and found the remnants of the tornado room door that led underground.

"Cas, set everything down here for now." He gingerly placed his feet on each step, they creaked but seemed strong enough to hold his weight. Once he got down the stairs he walked to the panic room door, spun the wheel and pulled open the door.

"I never thought I'd see this place again. Especially under these circumstances."

He heard footsteps behind him. "Other than the bags what else do you need?" Cas asked.

"I'll get the rest. Here's what I need you to do." Sam pulled several books out of his bag and a few cans of spray paint. "You need to draw these on the cars I point out. They have to be perfect."

Cas looked at the sigils and back up into Sam's face. It was happening already and Sam hadn't even touched what he was carrying in the trunk. The darkness, Cas could see it. "Sam. You do know what these are, they aren't just binding sigils."

"I know. You wanted to help. This is how."

They stared at each other. Sam's eyes challenging and cold, Cas's slowly filling with sorrow.

"I understand, " Cas said without looking away, "Which cars?"

Sam breathed a huge sigh of relief. If Cas was busy doing something he could set everything else up with minimal interference. "Thank you. Let's go."

They each grabbed a few cans of spray paint, a book and walked back up the stairs. Sam explained to Cas what was needed, shoved the extra spray cans and books in Cas's coat pockets, made it back to the Impala and opened the trunk.

"I have to do this, there is no other way. God knows I've looked."

He grabbed the box, it was still cold, took it down into the panic room and shut the door behind him. As he placed the box onto the metal framed bed his mouth started to water. He could taste it, feel what was about to happen. He wanted it, needed it. "Not yet, not yet. Wait until you know he's here." Forcing his eyes away from the box he pulled out the bullets he had spent hours engraving, Ruby's knife and the Angel Blade he had stolen from Cas when he gave him the spray paint. Once he'd realized that Dean and the First Blade were gone he had spent hours researching the Men of Letters files, he recreated the Devil's Traps bullets that their grandfather had shown them along with a few other things. The only thing that could kill Dean was the First Blade, Sam knew that. Everything he was preparing was to weaken Dean enough for Sam to carry out his actual plan, which was to give both of them a choice. He looked at the box one more time and a shudder ran through him.

 "Bobby. I know you're gone, but if you can hear me. I'm sorry. Dean and I, we should never have ended up here. Please, please forgive us."