《SANCTUARY》 | Bungou Stray Dogs

It's A Start // Dazai Osamu

The recipe called for only one egg, and that's how much you had left in the fridge, anyway. Dazai obliterated it into mosaic before emptying it into the cheap, blue plastic bowl.

"You're getting the cookies with shells in it," you stated, as soon as he moved aside to let you stir the egg, vanilla and butter together.

"I'll take anything, Y/n. I'm staaarving!" The brunet walked past the sink, nearly toppling the colossal tower of unwashed dishes, and bent over the stove. "And your omurice is seducing me really bad~"

He took a chunk and stuffed his cheeks. Tossing the brown sugar into the bowl with one hand, you reached out your other to yank the loose end of his neck bandage back.

"Ow ow ow ow ow-"

"That's not done yet!"

"I know, I know." Dazai flipped one side of the egg over and got a pinch to eat. Under the signature mafioso squint you were giving, anyone would have shriveled up and died.

Dazai only made a show of licking his fingers clean. "There's some rice on my face. Would you be a sweetheart and get it o-"

You smacked the grain off his cheek and ruffled his mop of bed head locks. "You are an idiot and you don't deserve to look so good in that apron!"

He only chuckled, bending down to peck your lips.

"Need anything else?" He offered and pressed his forehead against yours.

'If this is another one of your sketchy tricks, Dazai! I swear to God,' you internally screamed.

'... It's working.'

"The, uh, flour maybe? Top shelf over there?" You sheepishly ducked your head into your shoulders. "I can't reach it."

"You know, I warned you over and over and over again not to hang around Chuuya too much." Dazai easily grabbed the bag of flour with his lanky arm. "His petite mafia virus is contagious."

"Yeah? If he was your partner and you liked being the bane of his existence all the time, why are you so tall, you damn bamboo shoot?" You pointed out, letting a playful grin slide over your face. "You were just jealous."

"Nooo, I'm tall because I have No Longer Human and it overpowers all his forces against me."

Something skittered across the wall. Before you could look back to give him a retort, he reached the sink in one stride and hurled a used bread knife.

"What was that?" You inquired after the thunk of breaking cement.

"Hmmm?" Dazai began hesitantly, placing the bag of flour into your outstretched arms. "That might have been your irrational fear- most probably not. Two cups of flour, right?"

"Wh.. Wha? Is there a cockroach here?!"

Bleep... Bleep... Bleep...

You quickly kicked one of the tiles out of place and grabbed the pistol resting beneath it.

"You heard that. Was that a bomb? In here?" You whispered. "I suspect I've been followed back from the grocery store."

"Possible as that may be," Dazai said, cutting the pack of chocolate chips open with a dagger in place of the dirty scissors in the sink,

"the sound is coming from out back, and might as well be the dryer finishing a round."

"Laundry! I forgot!"

You asked Dazai to mix the dough and place the cookies into the preheated oven while you dashed to switch out the clean clothes for dirties.

As soon as Dazai had done so and shut the mouth of the oven, he looked over his shoulder. A cold smirk drew itself.

"I don't appreciate being stared at, lowlife. And I'd rather you not follow her everywhere."

"Osamu...? Why? What, is there something I did-"

"Oh, I wasn't talking to you. There was another cockroach." Dazai looked towards the stairs you disappeared up, and his tone was sickly singsong. "I'm sorry. Carry on, beautiful~"

He discarded one oven glove, whipped out a gun from the garter of his bottom and shot through the glass of the front window.

"Ah, jeez." You came back down and wrapped an arm around Dazai's waist, watching as a spy bled out on the streets with a bullet between his brows.

"I've led your phantoms back to you."

"Nah! I still enjoy a little target practice."

The smell of burning wafted through the air.

"Our breakfast is in hell."

As you turned off the stove, Dazai scooted the opposite direction to swipe the table clear of mixing bowls. Because the sink in this temporary, three- star apartment was only made to hold one night's dinner, some plates clattered to the ground.

"Are you dying back there?" You asked, frantically getting the burnt omurice off the pan and starting on some chicken.

"Not yet, and not without you," he replied gleefully, blocking off his mess like the tall wall he is. "Also... The plates are plastic."

There was enough space left on the counter, surprisingly. Dazai propped an elbow over it and rested his chin, noting how unnecessarily focused you were just cutting up chicken. You were an interrogator preocuppied with her torture tactics, even outside the HQ basements.

The only sight worth seeing, amid the mess of early morning cooking- attempts of turning the stale kitchen air into something that smelled homey.

"Osamu," you spoke up. "Your face is so near, I can torch it with the stove."

"Please don't," Dazai begged dramatically. "I'd like my eyes to keep, for watching you cook everyday~"

You smiled slightly- to which he replied with a chinkier one- before prepping some other ingredients.

"Have fifteen minutes passed, Osamu?"

"I thought you said thirty."

You scrambled to retrieve the forgotten chocolate chip cookies, but the overdue explosion happened right on cue. There was no fire, but there was a loud bang.

"HOLEH MOLEH-"

You and Dazai ended up on the ground, startled a few feet away from the oven. Its door opened slightly ajar to let out blackened smoke.

"We destroyed the oven. For cookies. Repairing it isn't on our expenses list... We don't have money for this."

"Did you just stab the oven with the chicken knife?"

"It's a reflex."

Life must have found that funny. It decided to cut off your electricity as well.

"Hey, we paid for that crap! We paid yesterday! Those ungrateful bastards... I'll guillotine them."

After a few seconds, Dazai giggled softly and moved back around you. He hooked his legs over yours and hugged your waist.

"Now do you regret defecting from the port mafia?"

All the lights in the house were dead. Over to the left by the door, the bread knife impaling the insect began to sag, and the window crack visible from the doorway would later on let in irksome sunlight. On the sink, a real piece of work that nobody wanted to bother with; On the stove some raw chicken and below it an oven of charcoal. Forgotten on the table was the omurice with its underside turned into a bitter crisp.

Batter spills on the floor, glass from the shot oven door. The malodor of burning.

Dazai warmly pressed against your back, fresh out of the shower with his clothes soft and free of blood. You were wrapped in a blanket of all things nice. This was the only place you would ever have it.

What were you upset about again?

"No," you whispered gently. It ached so much because it was true, and you were so entranced in the bliss that locked you both in the wee hours of daybreak.

You placed your hands over his, feeling the carve of bones under his skin, and affectionately nuzzled your noses together.

"Nothing in this world will ever make me happier than being right where I can hold you and you can hold me. Just like this." You curved into his embrace.

"I'm glad." Dazai smiled, hugging you tighter. "Because I plan to hold you forever."

He kissed you, light and sweet, to seal his little promise. Without breaking it, he crept in front of you and leaned back, gently pulling you along with him.

You were so comfy in that position, you regretted having to pull away for air... Well, mostly because the air was cruddy.

"Y/n." The brunet whispered against your lips and ghosted his fingertips over your jaw. "Y/n..."

"Yeah?"

The dazed, half-lidded stare he was giving you sudden cracked wide open and a happy, disburdened smile followed suit. It was scary.

You didn't even see him open the oven.

"Taste test~!!!" He shoved one of the burnt confections into your mouth.

"Hwa- OSAMU!"

"Weeell? How is it?"

It was so horrible, you laughed.

"It's a start."

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AAAAAH hold this idiottt he just wants to keep you forever <33