love hurts

is it always gonna feel like this

It's been 2 days since me and devlin broke up and let me tell you, its been hell for me like. I've been sitting at home crying and eating ice cream and watching the pathetic romance movies where the guy tells the girl he loves her, and thata where I scream LIAR!!  I haven't really been eating and kev and ric have been worrying about me. I mean can you blame them. I'm their bestfriend and they've never seen me like this before and by this I mean. I lost weight, in two days yea I know, I look like shit, my eyes got big ole bags under them and ma hair is all fucked up.so yea I'm a mess.

I heard ma phone ringing and it was all the way on my dresser. Yall know me with my lazy ass, I let that shit ring till when I decide to get up and get it. It stopped ringing then it rang againm then it stopped and it has been ringing and stopping for the last 4 minutes I got mad as hell and literally jump off the bed and said what

"Welll zaaaammmmnnnn zaddy, what I ever did to you? " I hear eric's gay ass say in the phone and I couldn't help but laugh

"Sorry ric, I thought you were someone else.wassup?" I said

"Me and kev coming over in five minutes so get ready." He said, more like demand. This nigga rude

"Nahh homie am chill.you and your boyfriend can have the day to yall selves." I said

"As much as I would love to spend the day and get freaky with kevin, ama put that off till some other time.now get dressed before I come over there and whoop you." He threaten

"whoop who, and where . don't let me snuff you.you know what-"

Beep. I ain't finna play with eric right now. Just as I was about to get comfortable in ma bed these niggas barged into ma room with they big ass mouths.  I was ignoring them till kevin's gay ass said

"Umm excuse me maam, did you just hang the phone up on ma baby daddy? Yeaa muthafucka am pregnant with his baby.so say some shit so I can coof you up in here." Kev said all ratchet

But that's not what got me weak, it was the way eric was looking at him like he lost his mind. I was laughing so hard I fell off the bed. Whoo that was funny. I guess kevin caught him looking and shuddup cause I didn't hear anything.

After my fits of laughtef, I composed myself and went back to bed.

"Uh uh nigga, getch yo fat ass up.we aint come all this way for you to go to sleep." Ma nigga live like next door and he over there talking shit. But I ain't say that tho.

"Guys can we not go any where today. " I asked

"No w-."eric said

"Thanks I appreciate it."I said cutting him off only to have him mug the shit outta me.

"What, you acting like you was saying something valuable. Shit just get out, both of you.yall getting on ma damn nerves now.shit" I screamed at them.  Man I know I went too far . It's not fair for me to take my anger out on my best friends while they're trying to help me. One look on their faces and I know I hurt them. $#!+ I mentally face palmed myself.

"Guys I didn-" I began to say only to have kevin cut me off

"Naahhhh its cool cuz, lets go eric" I know whenever they called me cuz, they were hurt and when they called me by my full name they mad asf.not even mad, mad asf.

As soon as they walked out, I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes. I'm so stupid. I have the two most wonderful best friends that love and care for me.and am pushing them away because of a boy that don't even care about me. He hasn't even call after what happened the other night and here I am giving him what he wants.

I cried the whole day until I fell asleep. I woke up to the sound of my mom on the phone. I decided to just stay in my room. The guys haven't called me, which I don't blame them.