The Prophetess

Entry Seven

They're all waiting for me at breakfast. I'm not even sure they're aware of it, but they might as well have heaved a synchronised sigh of relief. Even Alex, looks slightly relaxed, his pale eyes relieved of their ever-present tension. I am the last one apparently. They'd all dealt with their grief in their own separate ways, and it was only me left.

It was supposed to hurt more for me.

We were closer; dad found me first.

They think that I'm merely waiting for the right moment to explode. I'm the ticking time bomb in this family, but they can't see the countdown. Every morning when I'd climb down the stairs, they'd all look surprised, as if they didn't expect me to still be here.

Was I supposed to die in my sleep?

"Good Morning." I say, and they all reply in their own various ways, Gabby the loudest.

I wonder if they even realise it? The way they do things together but with a touch of their own unique styles?

Breakfast lately has been awkward. Correction, every meal where we all sit down together is awkward. Ever since he-

"What's for breakfast? I say, heading towards a cupboard to retrieve a bowl. The silence that follows my question couldn't possibly be more awkward than our meals. I realise my mistake a tad too late: Official breakfasts are long forgotten and it's every man for himself.

"What you got there, Millie?" I say, nodding towards her book, ignoring the look Gabby is sending my way.

I open the refrigerator and the cold air floats out, stinging my fingers as I grab a carton of milk. They feel numb again for a moment, but then I slam it on the counter and in an instant, the feeling's gone.

"Just a book we're supposed to be reading for English class." Millie replies, sparing me a glance.

"Aren't you in the third grade or something? We never had to read any book. Did we Sera?" Gabby talks around a mouthful of bagel, peering at me with her dark brown eyes.

I shake my head (though we did) and watch as the cereal plops slowly, one by one into the sea of milk.

"First of all, I'm in the fifth, second, it's for credits." Millie replies with pursed lips.

Gabby rolls her eyes at this, washing down a mouthful of food with a large gulp of her coffee.

"Explains why Lilo's not doing it.' Alex mumbles, surprising everyone enough to bring my mother out of her stupor.

"Hey now. Be nice." She says, her dull grey eyes glazed over and she goes back to staring blankly at the window.

As everybody shoots the other dirty looks, I wonder about my mother.

I wonder what she sees out there. I wonder if she actually sees us when she's looking at us. I wonder if she's ever going to be okay again; if we're ever going to be okay, again.

Does she imagine a new world where everything is the way it was, or does she wish this one away, wishing for nothing at all? What else does she see besides the monsters? What goes on in her head? Behind her eyes, where nobody but her can see?

I wonder if she wonders, too.

Gabby rolls her eyes again, this time adding a puff of air too. She stops short of flipping her hair.

"I'm right here, you know?" Lilo finally says, pushing her glasses up her small nose. She was always pushing them up, but they were sliding down her nose more times than they stayed up.

"No..." Millie mutters, conveying her contempt.

Lilo ignores her, turning to look at me, and she catches me playing with my cereal. "What's wrong with you?"

Everybody -except mum who's still staring at the window like it'd solve all her problems- turns to me, even Millie puts down her book. Family or not, it's still unnerving to have four pairs of eye on you. So, I take a moment to answer, swishing the tiny blobs of cereal around my bowl, slightly fascinated with their life.

I also wonder about them. They're plucked from their stalks, compressed, dried, then packaged and sold to be eaten as a quick and easy breakfast delicacy. I push away the bowl, not hungry anymore.

"Yeah, even Alex has said more words than you- and that's saying something." Gabby points out, wagging her finger between us, and the bright pink she painted on her fingernail blurs for a moment.

Author's Note:

Hello fellas. Yes, I know, this entry was long. But you know what? Sue me. (Please don't) I couldn't find a good place to break off in this that wasn't as small as a mustard seed, so here we are- Hey, I did it for the people! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this ExTRa LoNg entry of mine today. If you did, please don't forget to vote; It's the little star at the top that means the world to me. And if you have an opinion or two, do leave them in the comment section down below for me to see. For now, I hope you have a lovely day. Later guys!

Peace out.