The love you never gave me

Two steps back

Brad asked for a hug and so I went to go hug him but he still just stood there so I walked away but he stops me
" where are you going?" I can see the curiosity in his eyes as he walks closer to me
" none of your business",
" can I have a hug?".
"I just gave you one", "no I want a proper hug".
I knew that he wouldn't hug me back again so I grabbed the top of his collar on his shirt and pulled him towards me then hugged him. "that was hot" he said as I could feel his warm lips whispering in my ear as I look around to see if anyone heard. We are still hugging but I can feel his hands slowly moving down, I look up behind brad and jake staring at me he looks angry but I don't know why, his hands have made fists and his eyes are mad but sort of like he's upset he sees me looking at him and our eyes meet it's like he's telling me something but before I could realise what was going on he stormed off.

As soon as I can I push brad off, his friends call for him and in a flash he was gone to, I start to head back to the basketball courts to my friends as I think about what just happened. My mind is racing and I can't go back to my friends otherwise they will ask me where I have been, my stomach is hurting and I think I'm going to throw up but I keep walking as I see the toilets my legs have already started walking there but my head tells me to keep walking straight it's like my mind and body are arguing or more like competing against each other. I slam open the toilet door hopping no one is in there I get into a cubicle and just sit there, I'm trying to hold back my tears but then I start chocking on them I rest my head on my hands and can feel the cold tears dropping onto the floor. For what seemed like 10 minutes I finally get out, I get to the sink and look into the mirror and I can't help but cry. The door bursts open I I grab paper towels and wipe my face.
"Hey are you ok?" The girl looks worried for me
" no it's ok I'm fine just very tired" she smiles "aren't we all",
"Hey is your name Ciara?" I turn around and look at her
" yeah, why?" " oh ok, well there's this guy out there asking for you"
" for me?" She starts to walk back to the door " yeah and he has blonde hair"
. It must be jake but why would he be asking for me, mabey it's about what happened before, ughh.. what am I going to say.
" ok well tell him I'll be out in a minute", the girl walked out.
I turn back around to face the mirror and try to clean myself up, my eyes are red and puffy from crying and my hairs a mess he's going to know that I have been crying so I wait her for a minute until it's gone down. I walk outside and see him sitting on the bench, as soon as he sees me he stands up, he walks towards me and all I can see is him he's so... perfect.
" Hey, are you ok?" He somehow looks concerned but I don't know why, mabey he heard me crying oh no. "Yeah I'm fine" I lie. "Ok well I saw you come in here about 20 minutes ago and just wanted to make sure you were ok",
" hah.. are u following me now?" Why did I say that such a stupid thing to say
" no I was just sitting over there" he points to his friends who are all staring at us
"what did Brad say to u this morning?" " nothing" I lie again, " ok" he looks back at his friends and looks back at me "can I have a hug?" He steps closer " umm.. ok". He hugs me and I can feel his arms rapped around me making me feel warm and I hug him back, we stand there together not letting go Becuase I feel so safe and happy, but eventually we let go I look behind him and his friends are still there.. staring at us. " ok well goodbye now" He says " ok bye" I walk off a little and I look back at him, his friends are running towards him now crowding around him high fiving him and each other all screaming and laughing, I walk off but can't help myslef but turn around again he still hasn't moved and he's looking at me with his eyes they look so sad and he smiles but only half a smile I look at him and can feel tears in my eyes as he mouthes "I'm sorry" and looks at me I turn around and walk off trying not to turn around as I turn the corner I run to the steps at the back of the school and cry