Forbidden 3: Price To Pay | Chris Brown Fan fiction (SLOW UPDATES)

Asia

The cries of CJ filled the room but my thoughts drowned the noise out.

"Mommy..."

Here I was at 25 the mother of two kids who father was incarcerated. He was only serving 3 in a half years for the drugs that were planted in his car. That could've been longer with everything they were trying to pin on him.

Unlike the last time I haven't moved on. I haven't adjusted. I haven't forgiven him. I haven't did shit but wallow in this misery I called life. My brothers tried to label it as postpartum depression but it's been two years since CJ's birth. I just didn't know.

I let out a heavy sigh and then leaned over and helped CJ up off the floor.

"Mommy."

Chrissy tapped my shoulder.

"Hmm." I answered still not looking at her.

"Can we go get something to eat?" She asked.

Whatever the delay she had back then now doesn't even exists anymore. She was smart as hell to only be almost 5 years old. They're testing her to be in the gifted program at her elementary school.

"Yeah, go get CJ some socks and shoes and we'll go somewhere," I responded.

As my kids ran out the room, I laid back on the bed. It was taking everything in me to muster the courage to get up. I didn't feel like moving, shit, some days I didn't feel like living but I was all my babies had. I had fallen deep into this rut and never seemed to be getting out of it.

Minutes left like seconds as Chrissy and CJ rushed back into my room.

"We're ready!" They screamed, smiling from ear to ear.

"Chrissy, buckle CJ up in his seat... I'm coming," I instructed giving Chrissy the keys.

As they walked out, I get up, leaned over, and slid my shoes on.

I sighed heavily, getting up off the bed. I grabbed my small black purse and headed to walk out the house. My hair sat just below my shoulders in a curly mess. I had on a navy blue body suit tank top with some dark denim jeans. I glanced over my reflection on the car.

The kids were buckled and ready as I got inside. I backed out the driveway and headed to the main road.

Chrissy sung along with the radio and CJ attempted to follow his sister. I stared at them both in the mirror. As I stared my mind began to wonder, it was still mind blowing how they got here. It's mind blowing how they were created and even in the mess of it all, they were always with me.

Initially, I was happy and couldn't wait for my baby boy to get here after all that shit went down. I had the mindset of fuck whatever has happened, I have both my kids to think about. That mindset seemed to have to faded away completely once he was here. The doctors and nurses all assured me it was normal to feel out of whack. One even if asked if I had thoughts of taking it to the extreme of harming them.

I would never harm my babies, ever. I thought more so about those feelings and myself. But then I think about who would take care of them and I try to erase it from my mind. I used to wonder how my mother could have let herself go down the path she did, but it makes sense now. You begin to not care what takes the pain away as long as it does and you want that feeling to last forever.

We slowly pull inside the parking lot of the pizza place. They could eat as much as they wanted and this should last this for the rest of the day. I checked the time, it's 4:30 pm. We still have some food Tyler brought over the other day. If they get hungry again, that's what they can eat.