This is my first reviews book. Inside, you'll find out 10 books reviews, all of them with my honest opinion and some advices to the books authors.
If you're reading it searching for a review then I am sorry but this book is finished. BUT I'll probab...
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Title: Malum Author:Lxrxib Genre: Fantasy and Romance Read: 33 chapters
I usually don't find beginnings like yours but I really liked it. First of all because it's unusual so it immediately grab your attention. And it's strong. Really good. A perfect beginning.
I also really like the story idea and how you create it. The idea is original and really interesting and has a lot of potential that you explored really well. I especially like how you associated a colour to each Deadly Sin.
The story title is good. It's something that grabs attention because of its strangeness.
The story is also really well-written - There are just a few grammar mistakes (and everyone makes mistakes) - and has a good pace. You created a good connection between the characters and use the time very well, letting the reader connect with the characters but without make it boring. I especially like the chapter 4 that you used to tell Maia's story. It was a pause in the action but really well made, in the right moment and without destroy it. The development of the Seven Deadly Sins are also really good since you make some comments about them (just little comments nothing bigger and this is good because otherwise you could have affected the story pace) that make them more real. The relationships between the characters are also developed at a good pace letting you choose your 'favorite team'.
Unfortunately there are also some errors and things I things that I think are strange.
>> You use the expression I jolted wake too many times. It's not a big deal but it could be annoying especially when you use it many times in the same chapter. Don't forget there are synonymous that can replace the expression!
>> When you write a story in the first person you can't write things like All our hearts were pounding when we finally reached the black house (chapter 8) because Maia has no way to know what the others are feeling (at least not in this case) so the sentence should be something like My heart was pounding when we finally reached the black house.
>> I think it's a little strange how Maia accepts everything without complaining. I mean she wakes up and there are seven men in her living room but it's okay. They are the Seven Deadly Sins and need to stay in her house but there is no problem. The Deadly Sins say she will help Lucifer and she accepts. It's strange!
>> It would be more difficult (if not impossible) they travel back to New York in a plane after they steal so much money as they did. The police would have been informed and as it was a lot of money probably they would keep an eye on the airports so it would be difficult to Lust and Maia escape.
