Yes, a life full of problems for a simple 15-year-old girl is not pleasant at all. And more if people try to ruin your day constantly, although I'm used to that. Since fifth year of elementary school. The only reasons that allows me to stay here in this world and not take the gloomy idea of taking my life is my family, although there are times that they are my worst torment, and my friends, not the double-faced hypocrites, but the real ones who They have shown unconditional love.
Yes, just as you heard. I really have very serious mental problems. And of course I accept it, because for almost 5 years I have suffered from depression. And I have to fight against my monstrous thoughts and constant relapses. Neither I take medication, nor do I go with the psychologist from time to time, because my mother got fed up of paying a lot of money, as she calls it, although really a psychologist appointment here in Manchester costs at least 50 pounds.
Sometimes, I would like my mother to understand that I do not do everything to get attention, but sometimes I would just like to cry until I stop feeling bad, and that I understand that the reason for my tears is not to make me the victim, but that sometimes you can not with so many feelings within your being that explodes and comes the anger, despair, courage, and crying, those bitter tears that will not stop coming out of your eyes, because with so much that you have inside your being , you must remove it in some way, and sometimes tears are what comes first from us.
And well, fortunately, my best friend is at my school. Kaitlyn Grimson. A girl a year younger than me, but who almost always acts like my mother, she seems more like my mother than my own mother. Because she really understands me, knows how I feel and knows about my problems thanks to my enormous depression. She is a beautiful girl, as well as talented, honest, loving. Last year was terrible without her, but everything got better when I found out that we would be in the same high school.
Fortunately, yes, I made two friends when I entered here. But I won more enemies than friends. The truth in spite of my enormous depression, I have always been a sociable person and a kind person with everyone. And there were times when people welcomed me with open arms, but most of the time, if we put in a percentage, 90% of the time, people did not like my cheerful personality, a little too hyperactive , friendly and loving.
Same, I'm used to rejection, but as it is unexpected and wait for things to be as you want and have a great expectation of it, you end up disappointed and in the end we end up crying again. For something my biggest fear is rejection and loneliness. The rejection because I'm afraid of being rejected almost all the time by different people and loneliness because if at some point in my life people would forget me, I would be left without friends, without trustworthy people, I would always have to be with my mother or with my brother, but that is not healthy, I need friends, not only to leave, but to support me and help me in the most difficult times.
And couples, not to mention I have never been the object of the lowest desires of men. One of the things that you could say I'm proud of, because personally I would not like to be harassed all the time at my school, or on the street, or anywhere else. In my theater school that has never happened, we all treat each other with respect. But I will not lie, I have two ex-boyfriends. But the relationships, of course, did not work. The last one cut me the next day of being couple. The reason, to mention he had one of the poorest and stupidest arguments I've ever heard in my life. Well, after a year of finishing, my ex entered the same high school as me, and when I asked what was the reason for cutting me and breaking my heart he told me the following: "It's that I got fed up with you, you talked to me all the time. It was very cloying and I could not stand you Any minute longer".The jackass did not understand that I was at a point where I did not have love, respect, affection, acceptance and that everything I could only give him because he would receive it. like the other people who rejected me.
But anyway, I've liked many guys and I've never liked anyone, and it's all the same, they just do not like my way of being or I'm not their type, etc. But the truth is that I would love to enjoy and experience that, to feel those little pleasures that can make one happy like the butterflies in the stomach, or feel the bristling skin, and maybe even lose the virginity with the right person.
Suddenly, I feel like my diary is snatched away and disappears from my desk. I get up from my seat, I feel a presence behind me and when I turn around I see the horrible viper, Selena. A sturdy, fat girl with broad shoulders, thick but unattractive lips, she even seems to have sucked them with a vacuum cleaner, with curly hair. Holding my diary with her left hand raised. I start to jump to get my diary back
"Give me back my diary, damn sewer rat!" I jump even higher but my meter and a half does not help me considering that Selena is 5.6 feet tall. I feel her squeezing my cheeks with his huge hand
"Do not you dare to insult me or you're going to pay so badly!" She says with a menacing tone and I feel my cheeks throb with the pain that her strength produces.
"Drop her, you disgusting bitch." It was Kaitlyn, my best friend. She arrived at the right time, she always visited me during recesses and arrived just when I needed her
"You do not scare me, damn crazy mad, like your friend," she said to Kaitlyn, my blood boiling with pure courage. "Your friend is a fucking madwoman, see what she says: Sometimes, I would like my mother to understand that not everything I do it to get attention, but sometimes I would just like to cry until I stop feeling bad, and that I understand that the reason for my tears is not to make me the victim. She only does this to get attention. Her head is messed up and she just wants to be famous. Well look you little insane whore, I have already made you famous—at the time he said that I could not resist anymore. I turned to face her and kicked her in the stomach and hit her in the face
—I do not give a shit if you accuse me for this but you have me up to the ovaries, damn sewer rat, because I do not really regret what I did—I took the diary from her hands and spit in her face, this time not I'll let her trample on me, not anymore. I left the room with Kaitlyn, she hugged me and caressed my head
—It was amazing, I can not believe you did it —said Kaitlyn with astonishment in her voice
—It's time to be strong, and no more weakness in me—I just hope I do not have many problems. But today his fool is finished. I hugged Kaitlyn and went to the cafeteria together while waiting for my sentence
YOU ARE READING
Encountered Destinies
RomansaHe was cold. She was warm. He was a fair person. She had many mental imbalances. He was reserved. She could express herself. He was unfriendly. She was sociable. He was a huge lover of books. She was a huge lover of the performing arts. He was calm...
