Panic // Billie Eilish

T W O

I wake up to the usually calming sound of Khalid singing 'Coaster', but waking up to this with a hangover, feels like how I imagine getting hit by a truck would feel. 

The sun seeps through my shades, burning my eyes. I squint my eyes and sit up, removing Tristan's arm from laying over my stomach. As I make my way to the kitchen, I bring my fingers to my temples and rub circles on my skin. I guess I will make the juice I used to make to cure my hangovers. I'll make double the amount, so that Conan can have some too. He must be suffering, BIG TIME, considering how smashed he was last night.

As I am chopping kale, I get lost in my thoughts of what nearly happened with Billie last night. What is wrong with me. I have a boyfriend. Never mind that, I'm straight. Maybe I was just feeling experimental or some shit. What the fuck Sam, I internally scold myself. I should just pretend like I don't remember anything.

I mean, did Billie even want to kiss me anyway?

No. She was probably just fucking around.

"Watchu makin" Tris asks, causing me to jump. "Whoa chill, its jus me" He chuckles, as he raises his hands up in surrender to the knife I'm holding. I let out a laugh, unfortunately sounding really fake. I need to push my thoughts away. I go back to chopping kale.

"Sorry, hangovers make me jumpy" I lie "I'm making a juice to cure my hangover. Making some for Conan too".

"Ooh, make sure to make some for Billie too. We are picking her and Conan up from Lexi's on the way. Harry's walking over here now"

Billie. Shit. I knew I would have to see her at some point, but this early in the morning? "Oh... Yeh sure. Um... How come we aren't picking Lexi up?"

"She's skipping. That girl loves an excuse to get outta school. She don't even get hangovers"

I nod as I finish making the juice. "Remember, you have spare clothes in my closet, if you wanna change out of those" I say, pointing at the clothes he has been wearing since yesterday.

"Oh, right yeh I forgot" He says, leaning on the kitchen bench, watching me intently.

"I'm just gonna get ready for school" I say, giving him a peck on the cheek before heading towards the stairs, only to get pulled back by Tristan, into his chest.

"Everything cool?" He asks, moving a strand of hair behind my ear. I nod, connecting my lips with his for a few seconds.

"Fine" I reassure him when I pull back. He nods. I head off to my room to get ready. Why do I feel so guilty? Billie and I dindn't kiss. Maybe its the fact that I wanted her to kiss me.

_

We pull up to Lexi's house, three juices in my lap. I hope Conan walks out first so he can sit in the middle seat. I was planning on riding shotgun, but when Tris and I left the house, he unlocked the car and while I was locking the door to my house, Harry slid into the passenger seat. Sneaky little bitch.

I see Lexi's door swing open. Billie comes out first, wearing the same clothes she was wearing yesterday, but a different top. I pray for Conan to come out the door, running to be my saviour. Who am I kidding. Conan? Running? No. Not his thing.

Billie opens the door and I quickly pick up my phone to pretend like I'm doing something. She scoots right up close to me, closer than she needs to be, pressing her leg to my mostly bare leg. I can sense her eyes on me. I scroll up and down on my Instagram, already having looked at it, so there is no new feed.

"One of these for me?" She says, picking up my half-finished drink and pressing the straw to her lips.

"If you're a germaphobe, I wouldn't drink that-"