XANNY ▹ Harry Bingham

WHAT HAPPENED . PT 1

mention of alcohol, mental illness, drugs, and abuse. this is a trigger warning. please do not read ahead if you'll be negatively affected.

chapter five

"the church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints"

_

The heavy oak doors of the church broke open with the force of Eden's fingertips, echoing around the empty hall. The evening light faintly shone through the cheap stained-glass windows, casting an eerie glow onto the alter. Each step she took resonated through the inner building, reverberating off the wooden benches, finally laying to rest upon the front. She stopped to take a seat at the farthest bench, brushing away empty solo cups and beer bottles from the night before.

For the first time in her life, she found herself completely alone. She sat there, a messy heap of ripped denim, all alone, and utterly terrified. The sorrow consumed her broken form. Her mother wasn't there to soothe these fears, nor was her sister- if anything, Wren was just as helpless. It was just Eden, alone in a town that felt nothing like home. She silently prayed. There was an unspoken longing for her phone to ring, to press her ear against the glass and hear her mother's voice on the other line.

There was hope before, just a tiny flicker against the howling of her inner storm. But at this moment, it was no more than a dying ember. This world, now so alien, had taken her candlelight and blown it out with an icy breath. As she sat against the cool, wooden bench, she felt an all-too-familiar feeling cloud her mind.

I don't want to be here anymore.

Brick by brick, her walls came tumbling down. As much as she tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar in her throat: a silent scream. A single tear rolled from her darkened, butterscotch eyes, followed by another, and another, until soon, a steady stream made it's way down her rosy cheek, releasing all that'd been held inside of her.

She sat like that for some time, mascara smeared, until the double doors swung open. Eden jumped, turning her head back to see who it was. A swarm of people began flooding in, mumbling a series of incoherent speech. She caught a glance of Harry, who noticed her tears before she had time to wipe them away. He joined her in the back as everyone else filled the seats ahead of them.

"What's going on?" She looked over at him with a questioning look circling around her eyes.

"Luke wants everyone in the church. He, Grizz, and a few others ventured out past the dead end earlier."

"Did they find something?"

"No idea." Harry looked down at his hands, pondering how to address her presence in the church. "I miss my parents too, you know."

"Fuck off."

"I'm just saying, you shouldn't hide them.. the tears. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

She met his eyes for a short second, then purposefully shot her attention away, up towards the front. She noticed Wren, Cassandra, and Kelly sitting in a huddle with some of the other students. "I said fuck off. Your girlfriend is sitting up front if you want to join her."

Harry sighed in frustration. He had no response, so he left to join his friends by the front bench. Eden was again left in solitude, something she'd been trying to find for the past 2 days. Of course, she didn't get it for long. The empty space Harry left was filled by Campbell. She felt his eyes burning a hole through her head, and she shifted uncomfortably.

"Can I help you?"

Campbell discreetly held up a fist and unclenched his fingers, revealing a tiny, clear baggie smaller than his palm. Inside were white, rectangular pills- the same that he'd offered her at the party. She looked down in hesitation.

"You're upset. This should help."

"Why are you trying to help?" Eden shook her head in denial, but her actions spoke otherwise. She took the bag out of his hand and slipped it up her sleeve.

"You need helping." He looked around to see if anyone was watching them, then leaned in to whisper, "I help you, you help me."