XANNY ▹ Harry Bingham

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

mention of alcohol, mental illness, drugs, and abuse. this is a trigger warning. please do not read ahead if you'll be negatively affected.

chapter twenty

"numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it"

_

"Welcome home." Harry opened the door to his bedroom, stepping back a few inches to let Eden inside.

She sluggishly pushed past the open doorway and took a seat on the edge of the bed, thinking back to the last time she'd been in this room. "This isn't home."

"Yeah, I just--"

"Do you have grapes?" Eden looked over to Harry, who still stood leaning against the doorframe. He didn't respond, instead, he initiated a silent staring contest. It didn't last long before Harry broke the stare and cracked a smile.

"Grapes?"

"Yeah, like... crunchy grapes."

"I don't know."

She innocently tilted her head to the side and smiled over at him like a doll. "Could you check, please?"

"I guess." Harry pushed himself off of the wall with his elbow, then made his way down the hall. Upon his exit, Eden immediately stood up and ran for Harry's dresser. She opened 3 drawers at a time, digging through the folded clothes with haste. She even crouched down onto her knees and pressed her face against the floor to peer underneath the bed. She'd left her bag of Xanax in Harry's room, she remembered, and he'd found it. He had to have hid it somewhere. She hopped back onto her feet and swung around, ready to raid the desk, but she was stopped in her tracks. There, in the doorway, was Harry. He had his arms crossed, and his face had fallen from it's original, carefree expression. "Crunchy grapes? Really?"

"I--"

"No, I know what you were doing. Don't bother. There's nothing here anymore." He uncrossed his arms and passive-aggressively walked passed Eden, pushing his cluttered drawers back into place.

"Harry, please."

"No." He turned around and leaned with his back against the dresser, scowling with disappointment.

"If you care about me at all-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there," he stood up straight and approached the girl, closing all distance between the two, "you can't pull that card. You know I'm doing this because I care about you." Eden stayed silent and lowered her gaze to the ground. Harry took that as enough of a response. He stepped back and made his way over to the bed, throwing himself onto the mattress, and readjusting the pillows behind him to hold up his head. "Do you want to talk about what happened last night?"

"No."

"That's fair. Let's just talk, then. About anything."

Eden sauntered over to where Harry laid, then pushed herself up onto the bed. She scooted  close to him, taking his arm and wrapping it around her shoulders-- much to Harry's surprise. He didn't retreat though, instead he encouraged the behavior, pulling her close to his body in response. She rested her head against his chest and thought of what to say next. "Why were there so many people in the hospital?"

"I talked to Kelly about it. She and Gordie think it's some sort of poison that got passed around during the potluck."

"Poison?"

"Yeah. Poison."

"Why?"

"You're asking the wrong person, Ede."

They both paused, each having nothing more to say. Eden just listened to the sound of Harry's heart thumping against his chest. After a while, though, one lingering question had eaten away at her mind so aggressively that it'd made it's way to her tongue. "What now?"

Harry readjusted his position so he still held Eden, but got the chance to look into her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Are we going to die here?"

He furrowed his brows, "That's awfully dark."

Harry and Eden stared at each other. He looked into her eyes like everything else was transparent, and he could only be fascinated by the glittering orbs sitting 10 inches away from his own. She fell into him, treating his eyes like her gentle salvation. The long look was how they held their own mental, unspoken conversation. Eden broke the silence first, "I feel safe here. From everyone else. From myself."

"I told you it was home."

"Maybe it is. Not here, I mean, not this place," She lifted her hand to gesture to the room around them, "Just, maybe with you."

Harry leaned in hesitantly, his gaze flickering from Eden's eyes, down to her lips. She pulled him in for the rest. The kiss was not at all the same as what it'd been weeks ago during fugitive. It wasn't just the desire and passion coming from a teenage crush. It is was a new promise of realness, the beginning of a new, unknown emotion. And with it, there was a connection, better than the one already placed between the two.

Then Eden smiled.

Home is where the heart is, she thought, and right now, that's with you.