Through the Window | Peter x Mj

In the Night

     The grief comes in waves. One minute everything is okay and things feel almost normal then the next, he's struggling to breathe as the weight of it crushes his chest and tears pour out. Peter pulls his Spider-Man mask off and sucks in the night air, gasping with each throb behind his ribs. Perched above his neighborhood, he tries to fight off the overwhelming sense of loss, of failure but it claws its way up from inside him.

     It twists through him, twines around his spine and his knees buckle. Nobody prepares you for loss, nothing can make you understand until it's happening and Peter has seen enough to last him a lifetime. This hurts, it leaves him exposed and feeling raw. He doesn't know how to control it but he knows there's someone he can talk to.

     It's the middle of the night, close to two in the morning and he knows he can't just head home and lay in bed. He's not tired. That's a lie. He's exhausted, bone deep but he hasn't been sleeping and he won't now. Not with the lump choking him or the ache tearing his chest to shreds.

     He's no help to anyone like this. That's all he can think about when he swings from building to building. He isn't helping, he's panicking. Grief weighs down on him like a boulder and by the time he's in the right area, he has no idea what he's doing. It's late.

     Peter knows he shouldn't but he does it anyway. He finds the familiar window, the one with the dark curtains pulled tight. This isn't the first time he's come here but it's the first time he plans to knock. He's watched before from the building across the street in a totally non-creepy way. He just finds comfort in seeing her, watching Michelle calms him when he's having a rough night. It's stalker behavior if he really thinks about it, so he tries not to.

     This isn't just a rough night, this is...something that he can't handle on his own. He can't go to Ned for this. He's never bothered her before. It's the first time he plans to spill his secret and seek comfort. He shouldn't. Mr. Stark would tell him not to. That's exactly why he pulls the mask off once again and taps against the glass. Not quite how he planned to tell MJ that he's Spider-Man.

     Seconds tick by and he taps again, a little louder but hoping he doesn't wake anyone else. He hears a thump, a muttered curse and the ache he's feeling eases just enough for him to take in a steady breath. He taps on the window one more time, just in case he woke her and she's confused about what pulled her away from sleep. Peter waits till there's footsteps and pushes himself away from the glass so she isn't greeted with a creeper close-up of his face against her window.

     The curtains move and he braces himself. It's dark, but there's a soft glow illuminating her features and his lungs expand slowly. He has no clue why seeing her soothes him so much. She startles a bit, jumping back before leaning closer. Peter waves, hoping she opens the window so he doesn't have to keep hanging around. Her head tilts to the side, eyes narrowing and her arms cross over her chest. The knot in his throat swells and he almost chokes on it.

     Please, MJ. After a minute, maybe two, she lifts the window.

     "Peter, what the hell are-" He bites his trembling lip, trying to focus on maintaining control and she notices. Of course she does. "Get in here. Before I change my mind."

     He climbs through the window and into her bedroom, expecting shock or surprise or something but the girl in front of him just shakes her head.

     "I knew it." Michelle whispers.

     "What?" He doesn't even try to hide the way his voice cracks, she can see the grief in his burning and tear filled eyes so what's the damn point?

     "The suit. Jesus, Parker, you look like hell and it's two in the morning." It hits him like a punch in the gut, he's in a girl's room. At night. This is MJ and she's sleep disheveled, adorable and tired. He shouldn't have woke her. "Okay, hey, uh I'm not really good with this stuff but you look like you need to sit."