ATOMS (THE SOCIETY)

vi. you don't matter to me

chapter six. 🥀  episode two
you    don't   matter   to    me

• • •

summer. 9:24 am , june 04
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ phoebe beckett

It's been ten days all together. Ten days since the darkness conquered every corner of her world, she could not find light no matter how hard she tried. Harry's flowers weren't enough, Grizz's poems made little difference and Clark's presence barely made a change within the chasm of her heart. But she knew she must continue. The world keeps turning.

Phoebe moved the blanket from her eyes and looked up at Clark. "Thank you." She whispered.

Clark smiled down at her and patted her waist. "You're welcome." He moved the blanket off his legs and stretched and yawned as he stood up. "Alright, I'll go make breakfast."

Phoebe slowly sat up as Clark left the room. Her eyes glazed over the aspects of her room, the pin board which pinned important notices from the school, there was a small sheet that reminded of mandatory volunteering, there was a small stick note with details of the prom night and there were a few pamphlets for various colleges. None of that mattered now.

Aa bouquet of dried up flowers laid on her bedside table and Phoebe sympathised with the atrocity of it. It's stem all crooked and brown, the leaves thin with decay and the petals creating a pool of faded colours. There was a bright orange ribbon tied around it and she only assumed it was from Harry. Since she asked Clark to stay the night, she hasn't seen the Bingham boy and it was a bizarre to acknowledge that I missed Harry Bingham.

Phoebe heaved a sigh and tiredly kicked the blanket away. She let her legs dangle on the edge of her bed, her toes just touching the lush of her carpet, she swung them back and forth in carless boredom as her mind drifted to reasons why she should stay in bed. Yet, she stood up slowly and made her way to the bathroom.

Her feet lagged behind her and as she shuffled like a zombie from the frames of a tv screen. She stared the mirror straight on as she entered the bathroom. She had circles under her eyes, her cheeks looked hollow, there was nothing but indifference swirling in her usually sparkling brown hues. The girl in the mirror was crying for help but Phoebe only rolled her eyes and continued with her shower.

Phoebe left the bathroom dressed in fresh clothes and a towel wrapped around the tips of her hair as she damped it dry. She walked down the stairs to the smell of bacon and eggs and memories of  Marcus' cooking ignited in her mind causing a familiar feeling of normality radiating throughout her heart but she stepped down from the last step and saw no Marcus, no Heather and her stomach twisted in awful melancholy.

"Hey." Clark turned around with a big smile on his face from the kitchen stove. "Thought we might try something different."

"Okay." Phoebe mumbled in response as she made an effort to smile. She hadn't smiled for so long that the stretching of her lips had become a foreign feeling.