the squip enters & be more chill pt 1

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JEREMY (spoken):
Ow!

SQUIP:
Target female inaccessible.

CHRISTINE:
Jeremy?

JEREMY:
Aw, what the hell?!

Jeremy and rich loom terrified at the sence unfolding the memory of the pain sending daggers to their hearts

SQUIP:
Calibration in progress, please excuse some mild discomfort.

JEREMY:
Mild?!

CHRISTINE:
Jeremy, what's wrong?!

JAKE:
Dude, the freak's freakin' out!

"Sorry Jeremy"

"Its fine"

SQUIP:
Calibration complete, access procedure initiated.

JEREMY:
Uh-way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way. I'm fine, I just nee-

SQUIP:
Discomfort level may increase.

JEREMY:
OW! OW! OWWW!

"Wow did i really look like that much of an idiot"

Michael being the best human being in the WORLD cuddles Jeremy more Jeremy being on top of michael while Michael is lying on the couch his head facing the screen

"Hey you don't ever look like an idiot you were clearly in pain its ok"

SQUIP:
Accessing: neuro memory, accessing: muscle memory, access procedure: compete.
Jeremy Heere...welcome to your super quantum unit intel processor...your squip.

"Aw fuck off" Michael huffs

THE SQUIP:
Take your hands out of your pockets
Arch your back, puff out your chest
Add some swagger to your gate or
You'll look like a masturbator
Fix your posture, then the rest

JEREMY:
But I AM a masturbator--

"T the fucking M I!" Jenna screams

THE SQUIP:
We'll fix that

All your nerdiness is ugly

Michaels blood was boiling in rage he dug his nails into one of his hands leaving little red marks

JEREMY:
Nerd? I thought I was more of a geek, but--

THE SQUIP:
All your stammering's a chore

JEREMY:
Wh-wh-what?

THE SQUIP:
Your tics and fidgets are persistent
And your charm is non-existent

"Fuck you!" Michael screams

Jeremy can't help but feel his cheeks getting warm from his friend getting so mad at the squip for insulting him

Fix your vibe, then fix some more

Buh

JEREMY:
Wha?

THE SQUIP:
Buh

JEREMY:
Wha?

THE SQUIP:
No

JEREMY:
Aah!

THE SQUIP:
Stop

Oh, everything about you is so terrible
Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die

"Hes fine you broken lawn mower" Michael says wrapping his arms around jeremy both of them blushing

JEREMY:
Jesus Christ...

THE SQUIP:
So don't freak out
And don't resist
And have no doubt
If I assist
You will
Be more chill

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