Shadowhunter High: Shadowhunters High School AU

Hold On

"Raphael, put it down," Magnus said slowly.

He could feel is own body shaking, the hand that he extended before Raphael visibly trembling in front of his body.

Raphael hardly moved. His face turned toward the warlock, revealing teary eyes. Both of his hands still remained grasping the wooden stake, holding it in place where it was aimed at his chest.

Magnus took a slow, careful step forward as if approaching a frightened animal, fearing that any sudden movements would cause his friend to drive the stake right through his own heart.

Raphael looked at Magnus's teary eyes and then at the wooden stake, trying to choose between one of his best friends and release from the body he now felt was a prison.

"Raphael, please," Magnus pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes.

The fledgling shook his head.

"I'm a monster," he said. "I've killed and I'll do it again if given the chance. This is for the best."

Magnus shook his head, feeling more tears stream down his face.

"No, it's not. I️ can't live without you. That's why I️ brought you back," Magnus said. The words just slipped out, and he hadn't even realized what he'd just done until it was too late.

On one hand, he accomplished the goal, Raphael's fingers loosening and the stake dropping at his feet.

On the other hand, he'd opened an entirely different can of worms, the other's eyes widening and zeroing in on Magnus.

Raphael shook his head in disbelief.

"No, Camille did this to me. She killed me and she brought me back as this monster," Raphael said. That was the story he'd known, and he refused to believe anything else. He wanted to hate 

Camille. He did hate Camille. She was a monster. But Magnus and Lily had to be on his side. He couldn't hate them, because then he'd have no one.

Magnus looked down at his feet, unable to face the other.

"Camille did kill you, but she didn't bury you. We had a choice: we could either stake your heart and let you die a human death, or we could bury you and you could come back..." Magnus said before being cut off.

"No! You're lying!" Raphael interrupted.

He didn't want to hear it, he didn't want to believe it. He didn't want it to be true. He didn't want this never-ending nightmare to become worse than it already was.

But, instead, much to Raphael's dismay, Magnus continued.

"We were going to stake you. We knew it was you'd want...but neither of us could bring ourselves to do it. We were going to tell to you..." Magnus trailed off.

It was true, ish. The plan was to tell Raphael eventually, but not before keeping it from him for as long as possible. They just wanted him to adjust to being a vampire, and they knew that he wouldn't trust either of them if he knew that it was a life that they'd forced upon him.

The look that Raphael gave him was worse than any reaction that Magnus could've imagined. It was some mix of disbelief and horror, and he also looked at Magnus like he was the real monster.

Raphael shook his head once again.

"How could you?" he asked, his voice small and pathetic.

Magnus took another small step forward.

"I️'m sorry," was all he could manage to say. His friend was in all of this pain and he caused it, and he'd never forgive himself for that.