The Choir He Wanted, The LIfe He Had

Saturday, May 9, 1938

Jack Merridew sat in the backseat of the car. He was clean and well-dressed, his hair was short, and the cuts on his wrists were almost fully healed. A smile was spread across his face as he wrote in the journal that was opened on his lap, his hand scribbling quickly across the page as he wrote another entry:

As I write this, I am in the car on the way to London. It's been a few months since I last saw Roger, so I am sure he will be happy to see me again. Over the past few months, I've learned many different things about my friends. Here are a few things I found the most interesting:

Ralph has had a rough time since getting off the island. Like me, his mother sent him to therapy, though not because he was showing signs of needing it. She was just worried about him. Ralph and his mother had come to our house one day, and we sat in our room talking while our mothers talked downstairs. When I asked him how he'd been, he informed me that when he had been reunited with his mother, she had told him that his father had died in a tragic accident, though he didn't know how. I felt terrible for my friend but didn't know how to comfort him, so I listened to him and sat in silence when he broke down in tears. Other than the fact that his father had died, Ralph said his life was going well. He said he still played trumpet and that he had made a small band with some old friends. He mentioned that that and many other things had made him start to forget about the incident of the island, but the nightmares of what happened still plagued him.

Jack looked out the window as they got closer to London. He had never been there and admired the sights of the big city. When he felt he had seen enough for the time being, he focused his attention back on the journal and continued writing:

Another friend I'd heard interesting things about was Maurice. All of the choir boys (except Roger and...yeah) had gathered at my house to talk about how they were doing. Most of them had moved on fairly well, and their lives were going great. I was most shocked to find out that Maurice was, interestingly, gay. He also admitted to having found a boyfriend. I didn't recognize the name, but congratulated him anyways. He seemed very happy with how things had turned out for him after the island. Even more so than the other choir boys, including myself.

"I think this is his house."

Jack looked up from what he was writing. He had no idea where they were. All he knew was that they were parked in front of a small house that was in a neighborhood of small houses.

"Is this the right address?" he asked, referring to the address his friend had sent to him in a letter.

"Yes, this is the right address," his mother confirmed. Before he had gotten to the house, he had written one more note in the journal:

As for my friend Roger, I'd say his life is a thousand times better than it had been. He sent me a letter a while back. It basically said that his family was much happier where they were living now, and though they still had to get used to some things, it was significantly better than where they used to live. He said that he and his brother were given the choice to have separate bedrooms, but that neither of them took that choice, and they now still shared a room...

As he watched out the window, Jack saw someone exit the house and then sprint toward the car. He didn't have to see his friend up close to know it was him. As his friend got closer, he began to open the car door...

...He said that he saw his mother a lot more now, and that he and his brother and she were slowly forming a bond. He mentioned that it was weird to have running water and electricity, but that it was something he could easily get used to. He mentioned in nearly every paragraph how large the house was, even though he also said it only had two floors and not that many rooms. I could tell he was enjoying it...

Jack ran to Roger, and his friend was moving so fast that when they embraced, Jack was nearly knocked over. They were both crying, even though it had only been two months. They could have hugged forever if Jack's mother hadn't mentioned that they go inside.

They talked for hours, detailing every event that had happened since they last saw each other. Jack was delighted to see how happy his friend was about his new house. He couldn't stop bragging about its size. He also couldn't stop talking about how much safer he felt living there. He mentioned to Jack that he had never known how kind his mother actually was until he really got to know her. It almost made Jack cry to see his friend in such a different environment, away from the terrible things he had seen all the times he had visited his friend.

He knew that this new life was exactly what his friend needed...

...All the things I've learned in my life I've learned from my friends. All my life, they've always been there. And even if we grew apart, they were always still there. My greatest friends were the ones in the choir with me. We all loved each other, respected each other (mostly), and cared for one another (again, mostly). Every competition we went to or performance we did, it was never about how it turned out in the end. It was always about getting there. The rehearsals that happened nearly every day brought us closer than anything else could have. And though there were some bad times, the good times were so much greater.

My choir experience is something I will never forget, even if we're no longer together. As far as I know, our former choir director still teaches history, which to me is an interesting fact but to you probably means nothing. Sometimes I go and visit him, just to see how he's doing. It always makes him happy when I do that.

Nothing will ever mean more to me in life than those things. Every day, I realize how thankful I am that I decided to make the choir in the first place, and even then that idea was brought to me by a friend. Most of my ideas were.

I will always be grateful for the life I had.

I will always be thankful for the choir I wanted.

And I know that my friends will never forget me...

And I love that.