I've been suicidal since the age of 13.
I've tried to kill myself 3 times
I've relapsed to cutting twice.....
I want to relapse today...
"you disrespectful slut"
"stupid"
"no self-respect"
"whore"
"You like sucking dick, don't you?"
"no common sense"
"disgusting"
I took the fork, thinking it was the sharpest piece of metal
...stabbing myself in the stomach
crying...I can't see past these tears.
wanting to go home, because I've never known my home.
my brain is so angry. Screaming inside.
numbness, scared, slowly drowning...
thinking the hospital could be a better home for me.
staring at my wrist...wanting nothing more than to put a razor through it...
"Maybe if I kill myself then I'll be appreciated?"
I still feel trapped in the corner...
being whipped and yelled at
scared to speak
.... I can't move...
"Don't move."
the movement will make them hit you more...
"Don't speak."
they'll silence you if you try...
be exactly what they made you into
a scared mouse that will never escape.
..Your words mean nothing to them.
Don't show them how suicidal you are...they won't care anyway...
It'll just give them another reason to hurt you...
