will you be mine?!

chapter 3

I knew that I shouldn't have been thinking such violent thoughts, but I couldn't have helped it even if I wanted to. No, it wasn't fair of me, but what she did wasn't exactly fair either. I felt like I wanted to strangle the truth out of her. I wanted-so badly-to know why she did it. At the same time though, I knew I could never have had the strength to face her or confront her on the matter. Because deep down, it had hurt so bad it almost felt like I was being stabbed with a knife; not that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing how that would have felt like.

Nonetheless, I knew that if I were to approach her willingly and actually talk to her, I would have ended up breaking down in front of her. I couldn't risk that. I couldn't risk being burned that way again. If it was anyone else, it wouldn't have hurt as much as I was hurting right then. Hell, even if it was Jammy or Kira, maybe even Raisa. Although I could never picture them doing such a thing, it still wouldn't have hurt as much. But then again, I would have never in my right mind thought that Marcie could ever betray me. I thought I knew her, but I guess I didn't.

On the other hand, Mrs. Jacqueline took it as her job to escort us all the way to the counselors' office and eyed me with fury every chance she got. With the storm that was brewing inside of me, I kind of welcomed the distraction she provided me with. Her face said it all. She was clearly blaming me for dragging her prized most precious prodigy student into the shit I go through. It was hardly surprising at all. I reckoned I would probably have everyone glaring at my back and planning my murder until everything blew over. It wasn't exactly my fault his friend decided to sell him out. After all, he was a stuck up rich know it all and I felt little to no pity for him.

I couldn't blame Mrs. Jacqueline for thinking the worse of me though. It was clear to me that everyone thought that way. The best student in Walters High started a food fight. Wow, that had got to be a big blow to his squeaky clean record. Who else was there to blame? Obviously me, the school's own rebel/outcast/bad girl. Yes. As a matter of fact, I had been keeping tabs on the mostly sugarcoated rumors they spread about me. There wasn't exactly any room to ignore it when they threw it at your face every chance they got, now was there? No one could truly fight the status quo. It was the way your mind worked.

I had been called a rebel since the day word got out that I woke up in a cell with a killer hungover early freshman year. The first time I ever got drunk and it was because my best friend and brother spiked my drink at some lame party they dragged me into. Their stupid excuse was that I had to loosen up. Like what the hell did that even mean? I should have known. I started being an outcast the moment I uttered the words, 'I hate Benjamin Holler' out loud when I was a sophomore. Boy, did that make me feel a hell lot better.

I didn't care what they said or thought about me. The whole school just worshiped him. I honestly couldn't count the amount of times I had nearly burst my eardrums with the constant screeching the girls do every time they see him. Benjamin was on the track team, he was rich, he was popular and he was smart. Therefore, people associated themselves with him to get a good reputation. It was all so fake it disgusted me.

I got crowned as the school's one and only bad girl the day I beat the shit out of Tom when he groped my ass. Tom was one of the school's best line backer. Of course the only thing people knew was that I, Katherine Sanders had injured him and he couldn't play for the finals, resulting in the great loss of our school football team in the championship. It really wasn't my fault he couldn't keep his hands to himself and risked his own career.

I couldn't deny the things they threw at me because I clearly was the black sheep of the family. Whereas I got all the bad records, my twin brother Matt got the good remarks. He held the second highest GPA in the whole school and was every teacher's pet. Me? I was every teacher's pest, the person they tried to get rid off. He had to have gotten a scholarship to an Ivy League University down the bat while I would have probably ended up being blacklisted from everyone one of them. It was the future they had written down for me.