Too Much Love Will Kill You

CHAPTER TEN

*I feel bad making Jim the bad guy 😭
I wrote this all today, so it's probably not my best, but the next chapter should be them on tour!*

*3RD PERSON POV*
Phoebe sighed to himself as he unlocked the front door to Garden Lodge, his day just beginning. He'd normally arrive at 6am to have time to arrange things for Freddie's day and ensure all his appointments were booked and ready for when he woke. The assistant would then tidy up a little, before making himself a nice warm cup of coffee and sitting either out on the patio (if it was in the warmer months), or inside at the kitchen counter (if it was a bit cooler or snowing) with the paper to start the morning. 6am was an early start for anyone, but over the years, Phoebe realised he'd started to enjoy beginning his day before most people's eyes even blinked open. Sure, he did have time to come in later, maybe even 7am, but he was an organized man and preferred to know that everything was done and ready for when his boss decided he wanted to get up for the day, rather than having to rush about looking like a fool. This particular morning however, something was different when the man arrived. He'd organized Freddie's appointments in his diary in the office, he'd tidied up the mess from the night before (leaving the dishes, as per John's request), and was just about to head outside with his coffee and paper when he'd noticed him. Freddie. The man was out of bed and pacing the bloody patio, hands in his hair as his bare feet smacked the pavers. Phoebe had to do a double take, being sure he wasn't dreaming and it was in fact Freddie doing laps in nothing but his pajama bottoms.

"Fred?" He said quietly, being sure not to scare him as he made his way outside himself. Freddie looked up at him quickly, a mix of sadness and panic on his face as a few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Oh, Fred!" Phoebe gasped, hurrying to place his cup and paper down to comfort his friend. "What on Earth is the matter? Are you okay?" He asked, trying to see if he was hurt anywhere or what could be bothering him.

"Last n-night." Freddie sniffled, wiping some tears away. "I, I, John." He rambled, not making much sense to his assistant as he sighed, hiding his face in his hands.

"Last night?" Phoebe questioned. Did he remember what went on last night, what he got caught doing?

"I, I cheated o-on John!" Freddie sobbed into his hands, the pain in his voice taking Phoebe by surprise. He didn't expect Freddie to remember what happened, but in some ways he was glad he did. He didn't want to be the only one keeping it a secret from John. The assistant sighed, quickly pulling the older into a hug to comfort him. Freddie continued to cry, not knowing how he was meant to tell his husband that he'd been snogging their gardener the night before. He'd never once cheated on John, not meaning to anyway. The whole Brian incident was different, but this time Freddie wasn't in his head, he was drunk, yes, but he did that to himself. He could've avoided the whole situation if he didn't drink. He could've avoided potentially losing the one person he so desperately needed if he wasn't so stupid. "He's g-going to l-leave me." The frontman sobbed again, his arms tightly wrapped around his friend as he let out everything he'd been holding in since 3am. He'd jumped up with a start in the pitch black of their room, suddenly remembering everything he'd done, everything he wanted to do. He always remembered the night before better the next morning, but this was something he wished he didn't have to remember. He was so close to taking Jim to their bedroom! Their fucking bedroom! He didn't even know why he was so into him. Freddie's never looked at Jim that way, never. He's never looked at any man that way since he and John got together. He couldn't understand what was going through his mind to stand there and be so close with another man. Was it all the alcohol? Was he internalizing feelings for the younger man? He didn't know. He didn't understand!

"John's not going to leave you Freddie." Phoebe said softly, rubbing the singer's back soothingly as he tried his best to  calm him down. Freddie panicking wasn't going to help the situation. John won't leave him, he won't. He loves Freddie more than anything, he won't let something like this come in between them. Freddie was out of it too, completely, Phoebe could vouch for that. What happened wasn't right, no, but John would understand that Freddie would never do something like that sober. The little brunette is everything to the older man! He'd never intentionally hurt him.