Too Much Love Will Kill You

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

*Another new chapter because I had the day off work today and could smash it out!
We're getting super close to the end of this series and I really don't know what I'll do without it 😭😭*

*JOHN'S POV*
*8 Months Later - May 1985*
I groaned tiredly, blinking my eyes open as the alarm on the clock beside the bed screamed loudly at me, telling me it was time to get up.

"Oh, fuck off." I muttered to myself, curling into the blankets more, wishing the sound would just stop. It wasn't even light outside yet! It's too early to be waking up. "Fred baby, can you turn that off please?" I mumbled, already drifting off again as I waved my arm in the direction of the noise. I was expecting a groan back, or even to feel him moving to reach the clock, but I got nothing in return. "Fred?" I quizzed, again with no response. Puzzled, I made myself roll over to his side of the bed, finding it empty with the covers laying how they would be if I slept alone. I frowned, rather confused as to where my husband could be at 4:55 in the bloody morning. "Freddie?!" I called loudly, hoping my voice would reach the rest of our hotel room. Last night was the final night of The Works tour, and we were finally able to fly home for good this morning. I was looking forward to being home until we produced another record, but now I was wondering where on earth Freddie was so we could actually catch our damn flight! "Where are you?" I groaned again, dragging myself over to smack the alarm off before crawling out of bed. I flicked the on closest light I could find as I wandered around the suite, making my way to the bathroom. "Fred?" I called again, knocking on the door, again, with no response. I was so confused. He wasn't in bed, he wasn't in the bathroom, and I'd walked past the living area without seeing him either! I had no idea where he could've been! I went back to the bedroom, flicking that light on too, only then noticing that Freddie's bags (that were left packed by mine near the door) were missing. I immediately began to panic as I spotted a note folded on top of my suitcase. He was gone, and he left me a note? This whole situation was screaming NOT GOOD. I could feel my breathing shake as I quickly snatched the note up, unfolding it to find Freddie's scribbled handwriting taking up the page.

"John,
I'm sorry that I had to do this, but I needed to get away for a little while. I'm sorry I didn't tell you darling, or ask you to come with me, but I just needed to be alone. I know I'm not making much sense, but when you see it, you'll know why. I understand if you're angry or upset, I would be too, but just know this has nothing to do with you my love, and that I'll be back as soon as I can.
I love you,
With all my heart,
Freddie x"

I let out a sob as I finished reading the words, my throat tight and eyes wet. Freddie left. He left me. So many thoughts were running through my head as I fell back on the end of the bed, clenching my eyes shut tightly. Why? Why would he just disappear like that? What's happened? What am I supposed to see?! I struggled to breath as I continued to cry, just wanting to know what was going through his mind. Why didn't he ask me to come? Why didn't he say he needed a break? Did he even think about me? I suddenly felt empty and alone, like half of me was missing. We hadn't been apart since I regained my memory, and now it was like I was losing him all over again. I knew Freddie was reckless, but I didn't think he'd just up and leave in the middle of the night! We were both in bed by 12, his arms wrapped around me tightly like they usually were as he whispered that he loved me, and now, now he's gone! In the midst of my crying, I heard a knock on the door to our suite, almost certainly Brian. He'd usually be the one doing the wake up rounds so nobody slept in and missed a flight.

"John?! Fred?!" The man himself called, his voice clear as I heard the door close. "I hope you both are awake." His voice coming closer as he walked down the hall towards me. "We don't have time to, John!" The guitarist gasped loudly, at my side instantly as I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders. "John? What's happened? What's the matter?" He asked quickly as he pulled me closer to him. I couldn't answer, just shaking my head as I blinked my eyes open, a few tears falling on my face. "Is it Freddie? Is he okay?" He asked again, only sending a fresh wave of sobs through me as I leaned into his chest. "Oh John." He sighed, squeezing me tightly.