When I Look At You (Rastro Fanfic)

The fear of someone in-Love

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear"

-Jack Canfield

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was before my 18th birthday when I decided to came out to my parents and my sister. I was 16 when I first realized that I'm into girls and I find no attraction with boys. I was able to keep it to myself for a year before I came out to my friends when we had our first official travel to Palawan. So Kathleen, Wila and I are sharing the same 'Coming out Anniversary' but my official 'COA' is the day I finally told my family. We were having lunch that time talking to the organizer of my upcoming debut party who happens to be my Godmother when my sister suddenly asked me if I have already someone in mind as my escort. Right at that very moment, I knew that I need to tell them I'm gay cause I really have no one in mind if they are referring to a guy escort, and of course it has to be a guy. I was more than thankful when Ninang Mich received a call so she had to excused herself. The moment I was left alone with my family, I tightly shot my eyes closed and with a shaking voice I told them that I'm gay and that I don't want anyone to be my escort, I intended it to be louder but it came out as a shaky whisper but I was pretty sure that they heard me, seeing the looks on their faces when I forced my eyes to open. They're reaction were a mixture of being shocked and uncertain, so I told them again that I'm gay and I don't want an escort on my debut. The sound of my heart beat was deafening, my palms are all sweaty and I could even feel my knees shaking with my lips. Few more seconds of staring at me and from being shocked and uncertain, they looked at each other and looked back at me. My mother was the first one to changed her expression then next is my sister, they both gave me an understanding smile and nodded. My fathers was different, he pulled me closer to him and gave me a tight embrace and jokingly said that we'll celebrate my debut party when I'm 21 then. I heard my sister giggled and I threw her a deadly glare, while my mother gave my father a swat.

It was a nerve wrecking moment but it's definitely one of my favorite.

After a year of coming out, I introduced to them Alex as my girlfriend and I experience the same amount of nervousness when I first came out to them. But like how they accepted me with open arms, they accepted Alex and our relationship and they've been very supportive. Even after what happened between me and Alex, they never blamed me for what happened, instead they were more supportive and told me that there's still a lot of girls that is more worthy of me.

I know how my family loves me, accepts me and will still accept me despite of all my flaws, mistakes and my preference. I've seen and felt their love with no judgement, no doubt.

But today is different. I can't help not to feel nervous wait! No. I'm not nervous but I'm scared 3times more than what I felt before when I came out and when I first introduced my first girlfriend to my family. This time is different. That is because Althea is different.

*

Althea's POV

"So mga Tsong ready na talaga kayo i-next level ang relationship niyo?" Tanong ni Batchi habang nagmamaneho. Narinig ko siya pero kay Jade nakafocus ang attention ko na kanina ko pa tinitignan sa front mirror ng kotse. Nasa passenger seat siya nakaupo, nasa likod naman nila ako. Papunta na kami ngayun sa bahay nina Jade dahil maya-maya ay dadating na si Ama. Excited nakong makita siya ulit pero pinangungunahan ako ng kaba dahil ngayun nadin namin sasabihin sa pamilya ni Jade ang tungkol sa relasyon namin. 'Juice colored kayo na pong bahala samin!'

"Hoy mga Tsong! Ano na?" Pukaw samin ni Batchi dahil parang pareho kami ni Jade na lumilipad ang isip. Nagkatinginan pa kami ni Jade bago kami sabay ding nangapa ng sasabihin, natawa nalang samin si Batchi.