You Are Not What the World Says You Are

Lovers and Haters

"There are haters in this world, and people are gonna judge you, but that's part of life; not everyone's gonna love you."

-BrokenShyDreamer

I have experienced this plenty. I have learned to accept this the hard way by just ignoring and proving people wrong. I don't know if you know this or if I've mentioned it before, but I am NOT single. And I've always had this little hench that his mom hates me. Recently I found out why through him. He said it's because I don't care for my hair or anything of the such. This burned a hole in my heart. I do care for my hair. I brush and comb (hopefully you know the difference) it 3 times a day. Every morning the minute I wake, as soon as I get home from school, and just before going to bed. I wash it every other day, along with shower, conditioning, treatment, shampoo with treatment, etc. If that's not taking care of your hair, then I don't know what is. His parents said I'm a "bad girl." Okay, I don't know what the fuck that means (please excuse my language) but I'm definitely a good girl (to a sense). I have amazing grades, I am generous, sweet, and tolerant. I am warmhearted and I give, freely, my time, energy, and sympathetic understanding. I have tolerance and acceptant of others. I am bold, independent, inquisitive, and interested in research. I pretty much just desire peace. I'm a peace maker. I understand the law of harmony and desire to balance my life with those around me. I can be very sensitive and could appear to be a bit shy and perceptive. If that's not good then I dont know what is.

His parents say I'm not "mature." I am (again, to a sense.) My life isn't the best, my parents barely get by on minumum wage, and the nicest thing I own is... okay thinking about it it's just the very old version of the Wii. Or maybe my BO2. Definitely not my phone, my iPod might have some value. Maybe some expensive hand-me-down clothes but other than that- oh wait. My DSi might also be of some value. Continuing.... But other than that, I don't own anything that I could trade in. the most I would probably get is $200. Each time I go shopping with my whole family, I always ONLY buy one item. My sisters normally get a cart full of things. No matter how many times my parents asked, "Are you sure that's all you want?" I would always reply, "No, I'm good." Or when I hear something oddly disgusting, I don't just go all bazoic and yell, "EWW!!! NONONNONONONO EWWWWWWW!!!!!! THAT'S GROSS!" Yeah, no. When I find my self in such a postition, I just stare or look away or walk away to aviod any break outs. If that isn't mature then they are smoking crack.

According to meh luv, my words are too "immature" as well. Okay, so what? I cuss. Whoop de doo like cussing in Tagalog (Filipino) is an different than cussing in English, right? And funny thing, his mom is calling me immature when she can't even fuckin (im soo sorry for my language but this really ticks me off) complement her children. I have never even heard her say, "I love you" to any of her FOUR kids. She calls them idiots in Filipino and stupid and retarded. That is inappropriate and immature. She can't tolerate her own kids. She may as well have never had them if she was never ready for them. I've only known this family for two years so maybe she was once sweet and kind but after 4 kids, yeah I understand you could get tired of it but don't have any more kids then if you're going to be that way. I'm sorry hunny if you are reading this but seriously, this burns... a lot. I'm trying to ignore all this but there is something I learned, "You change for two reasons: either you learn enough that you want to, or you've been hurt enough that you have to." I would change for reason two but for once in 13 years, I love who I am now. And I don't want to change either but I might have to because, like my username says, I've been hurt too much. And I actually cried myself to seep that night (lol see the "sensitive" part there?) and I don't seem to get it but the people who care and love me are always the ones who hurt me the most. I'm getting tired so I'm going to sleep. This is all just me letting off some steam and it's running down cuz I'm watching Bones.

Hey, it's 2016 now, and yes it's been a while. But he and I broke up a long time ago, and I'm now with someone else, someone much better, whose mother is accepting of me. So godbless. And I have grown and matured, so the way I write these things may change, and sorry if you don't like it. Anyways, i just wanted to update this a bit bc the guy i talk about here is no longer my boyfriend. Reason being he broke my heart while and after dating. But this new guy-- oh man, he makes me happier than anyone else i know. He makes me happier than my ex ever did. And I'm so thankful for him.

Anyways that's all i wanted to say.

I hope you're all having wonderful days, and if not, hopefully your day gets better.

I love you all. <3