That's What friends are for

Prologue

"Jeez, people are pigs!" Mila said from behind me.

"You can say that again," I replied, looking at a dirty diaper that was stuck in a bush. "Christ, I'm glad I'm wearing gloves!"

Gingerly pulling the diaper from between the branches, I dropped it in one of the two large green trash bags I was dragging along with me. The first was for cans and bottles, the second for any other garbage I found.

"What was it?" Mila asked. "Was it grosser than the nasty sandwich I found that almost made me puke?"

"It was a diaper." Turning to her, I grinned. "With nasty clumps of shit, so I think I'm ahead in the gross competition."

Mila straightened up from the bush she was behind and shrugged. "Okay, I'll give you that one, but only because we're not done yet and I have a feeling I'll find worse."

"We'll see." I pointed. "Remember, winner pays for the next horror movie we check out."

"Then save your money. There's a new crappy-looking zombie thing out next week." Mila laughed. "And this time I want a large popcorn, no cheaping out, Lauren."

"If that's the case, I won't go easy on you. I want a slushy and a box of duds."

"You're dating a dud, why would you want a box of them?" Mila grinned, waiting for me to take the bait.

Unable to help it, I said, "At least I'm dating someone. When was your last date?"

"I'd rather be alone than with a bitch," she replied, removing her Red Sox cap and wiping the sweat from her forehead.

" Lucy is not a bitch. Why do you always call her that?"

"Because she is. Maybe you'd see it if you'd stop thinking about her tits."

"What can I say?" I laughed. "She has nice tits."

"I know. In fact, everyone knows. It's not like she doesn't flaunt them."

"If you had them, you'd flaunt them." I smirked, knowing it was a touchy subject.

"I have tits!" Mila snapped, biting on my joke. "I just don't strut around showing them off."

"I know," I said, pointing to the pink Red Sox T-shirt she was wearing. "Is that your brother's? It looks too big."

"I dress comfortable, okay?" She walked around the bush, dragging her trash bag behind her along with the backpack she'd brought. "I don't need to show what I have." She gave her head a toss, sending her long brown braid whipping around. "If a guy wants to go out with me, I want it to be because he likes me, not because he likes my ass."

"You have an ass in those jeans? I could have sworn you left it at home."

Mila looked at the back of the baggy black jeans she was wearing.

I laughed. "What are you doing, looking for it?"

"Why are you being a dick to me today?" she asked, her dark brown eyes flashing. "I'm spending my Saturday helping you score brownie points for that little snot, and you're making fun of me!"

"Whoa!" I put my hands up defensively. "Hey, Mila, I'm only busting your chops. Since when did you get so sensitive?"

"I am not defensive." She stopped in front of me and dropped the bag "But I get a little tired of the jokes sometimes, and not just from you." She sighed. "At least you don't call me a dyke."

"I'd never say that," I told her, coming around the bush. "Who said that about you?"

"Those idiots, Brad and Austin." Mila waved her hand. "I should just look at the source and let it go."

"I work with Austin. Next time I see him, I'll tell him to cut the shit or I'll kick his scrawny ass."

"I don't need you sticking up for me," she told me. "Those two idiots are like Beavis and Butthead. They don't matter."

"Matters if you're mad."

"I'm just in a mood, I guess, but what matters is you'd stick up for me." She rolled her eyes. "God knows my brother wouldn't."

"Hey, that's what friends are for, right?"

"Right." Mila looked around the stand of trees in Carson's Park I had volunteered to clean as part of Lucy's Earth Day weekend. "And I guess they're for helping to pick up bottles and skeezy trash, too."

"Yeah." Removing my sunglasses, I pulled my shirt up and wiped my face. "I appreciate it, Mila. Tell you what, I'll treat next movie."

She raised her eyebrows. "Large popcorn?"

"Large popcorn, and I'll even splurge for two drinks instead of two straws."

"Ohhh, treat me like that and this girl will get spoiled!" Batting her long lashes at me, she widened her big brown eyes. "Thank you for my own personal soda, Lauren! Can I have snowcaps, too?"

"Now you're pushing it."

"Please?" She pushed her lips out in a pout.

"That's not fair," I told her.

"Please, oh, please?" She then made her lower lip tremble, and I sighed dramatically.

"Yes, you can have snowcaps, but we share those."

"Deal!" She clapped her gloved hands and jumped up and down like a little kid.

I laughed. "You're too cute."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you remind me of my little cousin when you do that."

"Oh." She frowned. "I guess there's worse things."

"Well"—I put my hand up, knowing I'd made a mistake—"you're cute in other ways, too. You're pretty."

"Think so?" She looked at me dubiously.

"Oh, yeah. You're real cute. You know, like girl-next-door cute."

"I'll take that." She smiled.

"Yeah, and a lot of guys like that—not hot, but cute."

"You need to learn when to shut up, Lauren."

"Sorry, I meant—"

"Want to take a break?" interrupting me. "We're about halfway through. The playground will be a lot quicker, so how about lunch and we finish up in one shot from here?"

I slapped my forehead. "Lunch? Shit, I didn't think of that! You want to take a run down to the—"

"I figured you would." Walking past me, Mila sat underneath a large tree and unzipped the backpack, pulling out a yellow can and tossing it to me. "Yoo-hoo?"

"My favorite!" I caught the can and popped the top as I sat facing Mila under the tree.

"I know," she said, producing a plastic container with two sandwiches in it. "Just like I know Pastrami and cheese is your favorite."

"Spicy mustard?" My mouth watered as I took the container.

"But of course!"

As Mila pulled out a bottle of Mountain Dew and a banana, I removed my work gloves and chugged half the Yoo-hoo.

"Wow, these go down too easy," I said.

"Kind of like Lucy," Mila replied, kicking her sneakers off and stretching her long legs out in front of me. "And go ahead and finish it. I brought you two."

"Lucy is not a slut, Mila. I told you we've been dating six months and we haven't done anything but make out."

"Didn't say she went down on you," Mila said, just loud enough for me to catch it.

"Really, Mila?"

"Really, Lauren." She paused, peeled the banana, and shoved it in her mouth, bobbing her head up and down as if she were blowing it. Then she winked. "Just like that to anyone that pays attention to her."

I didn't answer right away. The sight of Mila easily slipping most of the banana down her throat had caught me by surprise. Not that it should have. Mila not only dressed like a guy, but also had a dirtier mouth and mind then most of the ones I knew. She ruined the image by biting the tip off.