𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑-𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 || Peaky Blinders

II.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴏ
ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴡɪɴꜱ

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

   IT MUST HAVE been one in the morning when she actually decided to settle. She'd took herself on a small walk and returned just before it was dark outside. And when she was in bed, she was tossing and turning for what felt like hours but may have only been twenty minutes. It was just a rapid cycle of thoughts. Once she popped the window open, it seemed to make thing much easier for her. But then the worst of it came.

   The sound of dying men spiked through each and every corner of the shell hole. Less than two hundred yards away from the frontline the sound trailed her like a haunting. Tired and alone, was not even the beginning of how Martha felt. It was Christmas morning and Martha had ordered for soldiers to be collected from the dugout as they needed further medical attention, they were no good for the war front. So, man after man, they were shipped out. She and Julia were the only ones there 

   These explosions were only getting closer, the two of them shouldn't have even gone past the advanced dressing station but they were desperately needed here. Medics had been hurt a multitude of times, whether it was a bomb hit or heavy machine gunfire. They were the most experienced who were yet to be wounded.

   "We need to leave!" Their superior advised them, concerned by the heavy bomb fall out. This place was going to collapse with them all in.

   "What about the soldiers?" Martha asked in a panic, even though she kept composure on the outside.

   "If they can't walk, they must be left. There's no time." He advised as Julia ran to instruct some of the soldiers to leave. It hurt that some of them weren't going to make it. She didn't take orders today, she had to save them. Ducking under one man's arm, she helped him limp out as she gave him to the men controlling the stretchers. She headed back in, this man significantly heavier. Julia hurried to help her, noticing the mud trickling down.

   "That's enough! Martha, we did all we could." Her friend yelled, there was one more inside. As she charged towards the dugout, another bomb went off. The ceiling caved in and sent the girl hurtling backwards - not far enough to endanger her but far enough to leave a mark.

   Suddenly snapping out of her sleep, she pushed herself out of the bed and latched onto the window to cool down her flushed face. Her whole body was tingling and she felt very wheezy. She clawed at her neck, trying to get the tight necklace off of her. It fell to the floor with a clatter, letting her know that she was free from its restraints - she still felt trapped. The sun was blaring through the thin fabric that acted like curtains, it only made things worse as the room was suffocatingly hot. Trembling fingers scratched at the bearing as she weakly pushed open the decaying window. Inhaling deeply, she could feel her heart thumping against her ribcage - it felt like it was about to burst. These nightmares started up a few weeks ago, they hadn't happened every night but enough times to make her restless. It was the after-effects that were worse; the physical and emotional. Sometimes it was painful to breathe and sometimes she couldn't even move. The worst of it was the guilt. Unlike everything else, that never went away and constantly cycled through her mind. It clawed through her mind, etching a  gruesome way of thinking into her life - making the guilt forever permanent. 

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