Koi in The Sea

After the Rain

-

A F T E R   T H E   R A I N

-

This piece you're about to read depicts a little funny feeling I had the other night whilst clutched within the sheets of my bed, cozy. A song I had always adored came on my radio, a song that once made me entirely happy, but now secretes a somewhat melancholy taste into my room and soul. It made me think about what I had gone through these past couple of months in terms of love - how I should be happy about being out of a particular situation, however still feeling as if I had lost something. When losing that thing was really the best thing to have ever happened to me. I still miss it.

-

I am a funny kind of content. Like when a thunderstorm has just passed but the skies are still grey and there's no blue to be seen. You know that the sun will eventually peak through, but you look back on all the rain that had fallen - the running water on the sides of the streets, overflowing drains, streams and puddles - and you miss it. Clouds, heavy rain and broken hearts were all you had known for months and suddenly, it all stops. You find yourself craving for the familiarity of weighted raindrops on your head and the cracks of thunder that swallowed you whole.

You know that this is all leading up to a reality which is better for you, but you can't help but look back on everything you had gone through - all of the rain that seeped through your clothes and hair. You had unintentionally made a home out of the rain for so long that you forgot what the sun had even felt like. The unfamiliar sensation of warm rays on your skin and knowing that better days are coming, those better days being these days you are wasting away by focusing on the past.

It's as if you have two jars of jam. One out of date, the other fresh. Yet whilst you eat a slice of toast with the fresh strawberry jam on, you still prefer the bitter, oxidised taste of the last. No matter how much healthier the new jam is for you.