Losing My Religion

Part 6

Billy's words hung in the air as he looked at you with expectant eyes and you stared back at him with stunned curiosity

"W-what?" you finally managed to blurt out, the tone of your voice pitched high with disbelief at his question

"You heard me"

"Billy, I've only known you for like a month" you said as you sat back from him on the couch

"So?" he replied in an almost childlike, petulant voice

"So...that's a lot to ask somebody to do, a difficult decision, it's a lot to give up"

He stood up from the floor quickly and paced across the room

"Oh, but the decision to give up all your dumb beliefs wasn't so hard when you saw me without a shirt" Billy sniped angrily and you stood up from the couch in shock at his accusation

"That's not fair!" you called back at him, annoyed at his outburst

"You do this to me knowing all the time you were just going to leave anyway?"

He sighed hard through his nose, placed his hands on his hips and looked at the floor

"You know what that says to me, Billy? That you never intended on seeing this through. I don't know what you wanted but it's clear that you were just gonna up and bail, regardless of my feelings"

"Why do you think I'm asking you to come?" he barked back, raising his voice a little

You let out a long, frustrated sigh and rubbed your temple

"Because I think you want to go but you don't want to be alone" you said with a loose shrug and you looked at him

"If I told my parents...if I told them about you...about us, would you stay?"

Billy winced at your question and shuffled his feet

"Billy?" you demanded stepping forward towards him

"It's not about you" he said assertively

"Then what? What is so bad here that you feel like you have to run away? Seriously, tell me" you urged him

"I have to go" he said suddenly, marching towards the door

"Is that your answer to everything?" you asked as you grabbed his forearm, trying to stop him from leaving

"Pretty much" he grumbled in reply

"Why can't you just tell me?" you raised your voice to almost yell tugging on his arm lightly

Billy whipped round and drew his face close to yours, grabbing your chin, his expression dark and angry

"Because a spoilt, little naive brat like you wouldn't understand" his voice was low and hurtful as spoke, his eyes piercing into you. You batted his hand from you and frowned

"I wouldn't, huh? Well. At least I know now what you really think"

Billy's expression immediately changed at your statement, he quickly licked his lips and snapped his hand back. He pressed his lips into a thin line with a sigh before he turned around, throwing the door open and stomping out, you stared at him as he left and watched as the door swung shut behind him with a resonating bang.

**

"Make sure you wind the hose up this time!!"

Billy sat up on his bed as he heard your mom's voice drift in through the window and he slowly crept over to look out, he saw you grumpily picking up the hose and turning it on, spraying the plants, he watched as wiped your eyes slowly and your shoulders jerked with a hard sniff. He sank back onto his mattress and sighed, he wanted nothing more than to go out there and talk to you, to say hi, to say he was sorry, but he didn't know how. He had been mean, he knew that, he had regretted the words as soon as they had fallen from his mouth, the last thing he wanted to ever do was hurt you, for you to see him in the way that so many did. But he wasn't used to hearing no from girls, he didn't like the feeling of rejection, it made his stomach twist and knot, his throat dry up and his temper rise. He thought about all the things he had pushed you to do, lie to your parents, skip a few periods of school, lose sleep and now he had made you cry and he cursed himself under his breath.