I can't handle keeping secrets
I thought as I remembered that fourteen students know that I have feelings for Kevin.
He probably knows by now.
Anyhow, after that faithful day I had had science class with Andy. As I was taking my notebook out of my backpack he whispered, "so how's it going with Kevin?" I flushed and sat down with a thump, "seriously?" "What?" He said as he gave me his signature smirk. I sighed and brushed the embarrassment off, "why do you always have to talk about other people's businesses?" I guess he got offended and quipped, "Oh really? At least I wasn't the one talking about him on Roblox last night. Oh, and by the way I took a screenshot of the chat." I gasped, angry at him.
"What?! Why'd you do that?!" I fumed. "It's because I wanted to remember your confession. I also wanted to show it to him," he sassed. I looked at him furiously, "you better not." He just snickered and provoked, "heh. What happens if I do?" I glared at him for a few minutes until he began to feel uncomfortable. "Fine," he replied, "I won't do it, jeez." I stopped glaring at him, my expression softened, "thank God."
He chuckled evilly and called Kevin, who was sat in the table next to ours. "Hey, Kevin!" He called. My eyes went wide and I whispered, "please don't." I looked back at Kevin and laughed nervously, he just looked confused. Andy turned to me and then looked back at him, "wanna sit with us?" I sighed with relief since there was an empty seat in front of Andy and some kids were sitting wherever they wanted. "Sorry, I can't. I think I might get in trouble," Kevin answered. Me and Andy groaned, I wanted him to sit with us. "Aw what," I replied to him. He shook his head saying "sorry" again.
A few minutes later when I was writing my notes down in my notebook, Andy smirked at me again. "What is it now?" I asked, clearly annoyed. "You wanted him to sit here, didn't you?" He irritated.
Ugh. Why?!
"Umm... I guess." I admitted. He giggled and we went back to taking our notes.
When class ended, I walked back to the seventh grade complex with Sandy and Mayra. I unlocked my locker to swap my books for the next few classes, then Kevin walked in. "Excuse me," he said as I moved away to zip my backpack. As he was swapping his books, Aylyn called me. "Raima, I need to tell you something," she announced. I walked with her towards the end of the hallway, "okay, what is it?"
"Here's something about Kevin that will allow you to get to know him better," she added. My eyes lit up, "tell me." She continued, "yesterday, I checked his Roblox profile and he included some lyrics from Billie Eilish's 'Bury a Friend'. I guess he likes to hear her songs." I felt so overjoyed after I heard what she said. I loved Billie Eilish's songs! "Oh my God! I love Billie Eilish's songs! Especially 'idon'twannabeyouanymore'," I explained with an oversized smile plastered on my face. She saw this and pointed out, "Wow, Raima. At least you two have something in common." I nodded, still smiling. Maybe that's why I'm so obsessed with listening to her songs.
"I know you're not sorry.
Why should you be?
'Cause who am I to be in love
when your love never is for me?"
That's from "8" by Billie Eilish; the only line that gets me bawling my eyes out. Its just that thinking of being rejected is so painful, especially by Kevin. I've never met someone like him. He's just so... I don't even know how to describe him. He's just that great of a guy. He's someone who apologizes without having a reason (I've never seen a boy do that before) and is there for someone when they need to talk to him. Which is why I'm extremely afraid of losing him, afraid of ruining our friendship.
I guess being friend-zoned isn't the worst...?
