The day after Genesis purposely confessed my feelings to Kevin was pretty gloomy. It was a Saturday and I thought I could've enjoyed my weekend without any drama.
Guess I was wrong.
If it wasn't for Genesis then I'd be much happier right now. This is because I couldn't stop thinking about what Kevin would think of me when I came back to school on Monday. He'd most likely be creeped out or attempt to ignore me, just like what all my other crushes did after I confessed to them. What really made everything worse was thinking about how Kevin responded to Genesis when she told him that I liked him.
"...Then I asked him if he liked you back. He said that he didn't, but he didn't want to make you cry. He also said he doesn't want to break your heart because he knows that you're a very sensitive person."
Hearing that made me crawl into my bed weep... because what he said is true, and that he was out of my league. I told my aunt about all the drama after school and she helped me cope with it. I cried in bed for like an hour or so after texting Sandy about it, too. Turns out she knew all about it because Kevin told her. But she listened to me rant anyway. A little while later that afternoon, Aylyn texted to see if I was okay. I lied to her and texted her,"Yea. I'm fine." She texted me "Are u sure", which made me realize how concerned she was. I lied again and texted back, "Yea. Lets just forget that this ever happened." She agreed and texted me back with an "okay."
But I never forgot about it; it haunts me to this day. I listened to Billie Eilish's "When the Party's Over", "Listen Before I go", "I Love You", and "8" for the entirety of Friday afternoon, until my mom came back from her doctor's appointment. My grandparents came back from their trip to Bangladesh a few weeks back and our family decided to have a gathering at their house on the last day of Ramadan (Islamic month of fasting). The gathering was held on Saturday right after I took an afternoon nap. Since everyone was in the living room, I decided to text Kevin and personally confess my feelings for him.
At first, I thought it was a good idea. But after our conversation, I regretted the idea I had in the first place. I began the conversation with "Kevin it's really important, please answer" to which he answered "what so serious?" I tried not to make it awkward and kept texting him "well..." and "umm...", which ended up making it awkward. I guess he wanted to get to the point and texted "just tell me". I took a deep breath and told him everything. I even told him that I was an idiot and that I knew he didn't like me back.
He texted "Yea I know".
I felt extremely embarrassed after he responded, so I texted him, "Can we just be friends?" He read this and texted me "yeah", "okay" and a thumbs up emoji. Then, I asked him if he knew about my book. Kevin seemed confused and questioned, "what book?" I decided to tell him until he texted me back, "don't tell me." Then, I heard footsteps. I thought it was my mom, so I texted him, "Ok bye." He texted me "bye" and I quickly deleted our recent texts. To my discontent, it was just my aunt that just walked by to go to my cousin's room. I slapped my forehead internally and cursed.
That was the last real conversation we had before he stopped texting me.
