Love Me

Epilogue

Lillian

 

With every passing minute, I felt my insides ridding themselves from all traces of Harry, my blood renewing its flow, my heart stopping for a second, to be revived by Zayn’s mere existence. I felt the memories detaching themselves from my mind, I felt the thoughts burying themselves at the very back of my head, where no one would ever cause them to resurface. The voices silenced themselves, or maybe his voice overshadowed all.

Like the sun, rising to tell the moon to go to sleep, to tell the stars to give up, because they’d never shine as bright as it did.

Like the first breathe of air after a long summer day.

Like all that was ever beautiful in this world, being taken for granted, going unnoticed, until desperately needed.

He was all that and more for me.

Or so he had become.

With every smile, every laugh, every touch, every whispered word, every desperate look into my eyes, I found myself falling in love with the man who had devoted his wholesome to me.

Every night when I heard his incomprehensible whispers, or his soft snores, I fell.

Every time he kissed me, out of the blue, and for no reason at all, I fell.

Every time he held me in his arms because he saw sadness in my eyes, I fell.

Every time he complimented me, when I felt, and possibly looked, like shit, I fell.

Every time I saw that crinkly-eyes, tongue behind teeth, smile, I fell.

Every time he made me breakfast in bed, using the “that’s what husbands do” excuse, I fell.

I fell slowly, but surely, and now, now he was all I was, all I would ever be.

He loved me, when all I had was nothing.

He loved me and didn’t ask for anything in return, not even my pathetic acceptance.

He loved me, and now, I loved him.

God, did I love him.

I loved him with every single one of my pieces, that he ever so proudly, put together.

The one I used to run from, now I ran to.

In a way, he had always been my escape; from myself, and all that had happened.

And he still was, but now, even if I’m running from him, I ran back to him, because where else could I possibly go?

He was all I had, and I was okay with that.

I didn’t want anyone or anything else.

He was everything. Absolutely everything.

He was my husband, my lover, my best friend, my father, and now, the father of our beautiful daughter; Farrah. He named her, with the help of Louis, who at first wanted to name her Louisa, for them to match and all that.

Louis had been a major part of our life together as well, he helped us fix our relationship, and whether he chose to confess it or not, he had been a brother to Zayn.

Liam as well.

Niall had been trying to reach out to us, but we both always knew that nothing would ever be the same.

Gemma came to me, when Zayn was at work, during the first months of my pregnancy, and she apologized. She told me that she was drunk, and so was he, yet, he was literally crying during their… activities. She told me that he called my name, and even though I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about all that, that night, he came home, with a bouquet of roses, and a box of my favorite chocolates, and I wondered how I ever lived without him being there.