Past The Stars- Adashi

XXVIII: June 26, 2116.

Shiro looked at the calendar on the wall, like he didn't already have the date engraved into his head, like he didn't know that the date after was circled violently in red marker, and like he didn't already know that there was a similar date in a different calendar, exactly ten and a half months after that one.

Kerberos was tomorrow, and he still hasn't packed a single thing to bring with him there. His suitcase was empty and while, he knew, that at 11 at night, he should be packing, but he didn't. Instead, he just sat on the bed and watched the deep blue sky, how it was slowly turning darker, and how Adam used to call this time the blue hour.

Adam...

He hasn't heard from Adam since the fight, six days ago. He had just waiting until Adam contacted him first, because, chances are, Adam wouldn't want to talk to him. At least, that's what he tells himself. But either way, unless Adam shows up between then and when he left in about twenty three hours from now, he was serious about it.

Don't expect me to be here when you get back.

The words still rang in his head, clear as day. Maybe he was being selfish, but so was Adam, so he can't blame himself entirely. He knew Adam was worried, but Shiro was still a grown man, even if he was one with a chronic disease. Plus, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, he can't just pass it up.

There was a knock on the bedroom door, and Shiro perked up, "A-"

Keith walked in. "Hey, just so you know, this was taped to the front door," He handed him a piece of printer paper folded in half, a small piece of tape keeping it closed. Takashi was written on the front, in a very familiar handwriting which was in a very specific shade of green pen.

A rush of hope filled his soul, followed by disappointment. They were through, and Adam made that final, no matter how much it crushed his soul. Shiro carefully peeled the tape off of the letter, trying his hardest not to rip the paper.

"Takashi...

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry for what I said. I was angry and tired and pissed, and it's no excuse. I was being selfish, and I can admit that. I put my worries and fears above your dreams and labeled it as trying to protect you. While I still don't think Kerberos is a good idea, I shouldn't have said it how I did.

I know I'm not going to stop you from leaving, like I said. If you're going to leave, leave. But if and when you make it home safely, we'll talk. We won't have any contact, since we never did get that contract signed, and I know it'll be hard for me, but maybe it's for the best. We've been arguing so much the past couple of months that maybe we need this break.

I'll take care of Keith and keep him safe, I promise. He won't get into any trouble, and maybe I'll convince him to make a couple friends. Wishful thinking, I know, but maybe. He's going to miss you a lot, you know.

Even if we decide that this wasn't going to work out, and we do split, I still wish to stay friends. I hope that doesn't happen, the splitting part, because despite what I said, I still love you, Takashi.

When you come back, tell me what was past the stars.

- Adam"

Shiro folded the letter closed, and looked straight ahead at the wall. Adam was sorry. He apologized for what he said. And most of all, he still loved Shiro, and he would wait for Shiro. He couldn't fight the smile off his face. All wasn't lost for them.

"So, are you going to talk to him?" Keith asked. He had been looking over Shiro's shoulder the whole time, apparently.

Shiro shrugged, "There's not much time. I still need to pack, and I'm probably going to be in meetings tomorrow from six in the morning until I leave," he pointed out. The day before missions were always hard, with meetings and lectures and reviews like he hasn't had millions of them before.

Keith shrugged, "You could at least leave the guy a note," he pointed out, "I'll go give it to him before you leave, or you can just leave it here or something."

"You know where he's staying?" Shiro asked. He hasn't seen Adam at all since the fight, almost like he had disappeared off the face of the earth, if it weren't for the office gossip still talking about the two of them.

Keith nodded, "Depending on the day, either Jackson's place or Skylar's place. Think today he's staying with Jackson," he said casually, like no big deal, but Adam's been sleeping on people's couches every night. Meanwhile, Shiro's just been lounging across a queen sized bed for himself. Sure, the large bed was lonely, but it was probably worse for him. This was supposed to be their apartment, not just Shiro's apartment.

"Anyway, you should get packing," Keith stated, sitting up. "Glad that you two sort-of figured things out."

Shiro wouldn't consider one note from Adam to be figuring things out, but it was certainly a step in the right direction. "Yeah," he said. He folded the note small enough to fit into his pocket, stood up, and started working on packing. 

"And Keith," he started, looking up at his adopted brother. It was too weird to think of Keith as his son, adopted or otherwise.

Keith turned around, looking at Shiro, making a small hum of question.

"I'll miss you, bud," he said.

He smiled, and nodded at Shiro. Almost out of the doorframe, he stated, "Yeah, me too," and closed the bedroom door.

~~~

The next morning, he woke up at five. Well, was waking up the right term when it feels like he got no sleep at all? 

Shiro crawled out of bed, checked his bags to make sure he didn't forget anything, got dressed, the usual morning routine. He started up the coffee maker. It was a random memory, but Shiro smiled to himself at the thought, as he remembered when Adam didn't know how to use the coffee machine for the first two months, back before they even started dating. It was so long ago.

He left his coffee brewing, and walked over to look at the tackbord full of polaroid photos, ones that Adam had been collecting ever since he got him that camera from the shop in Mosquero so long ago. Photos of Kitty, of him and Adam doing stupid things together, of the fair and of hoverbike races and of formal date nights where they both wore Garrison uniforms to eat out because, hey, it was a good discount.

He smiled weakly. All the photos looked so frozen in time, like everyone was a memory locked away in paper. It was nostalgic.

One photo in particular always stood out to him. It was one of Shiro and Adam in their flight suits, hanging out on the Garrison base, Adam's arm slung around Shiro's shoulder in a peace sign. It was taken a couple days before the space mission where Shiro broke his arm, and every time he saw it, he still can hear Adam's laughter at the lame joke Jackson made, and the confusion when Adam had to teach Jackson and Samantha how to use the polaroid camera because neither of them ever learned.

The photo had been framed on their countertop, but this one, with August 10, 2115 scrawled on it, was the original copy. He unpinned the tack from it, and took the photo off. Just a keepsake, for when he went to Kerberos. He'd put it back as soon as he got home, of course.

Shiro added a note to where the photo once was pinned, written in rushed black handwriting, and turned around to leave. "I love you, Adam. I'll see you soon. Go, be great," and the date, June 26, 2116.