House of Cards (Kim Namjoon x reader)

Chapter 15

When you woke up, you felt extra warm, like another layer of blanket was draped on you. Except blankets don't breathe. Your heart stopped when you saw the man next to you. He had on a thin shirt that showed off his tone body as his muscular arms wrapped around your waist. Your head was pressed against his chest and you could smell his lavender shower gel. Your heart started working again, and then it was pounding out of your chest. His grip was too tight for you to free yourself from it.

You tried to think back on what happened last night. You remembered falling, and calling Jungkook to take you to the hospital but he was busy. Then Namjoon showed up out of nowhere and went with you. But you didn't remember how you both ended up on the same bed. From the looks of it, nothing happened aside from sleeping. It still didn't stop the blood from rushing to your cheeks. It was the first time you guys had ever spent the night together, even if nothing happened.

There were many attempts to escape his arms. He grunted with eyes still closed. "Stop moving and let me sleep." he said in a deep morning voice.
"Why are you here?" you asked.

"Because we're married. Stop asking stupid questions." he answered. Annoyed by his disingenuous answer, you tried pushing him back. "Stop." he said again.

"Go back to your room and sleep." you said.

"No." he answered flatly.

"Why not?" you sighed.

He exhaled. "Because I like sleeping with you. I haven't slept so well in so long." he murmured, then paused. You thought he had fallen asleep again. Eventually, you gave up and gave into his embrace. He's just sleepy, he doesn't mean it, you told yourself, this isn't real. "This is real, and I love you Y/N." he said in response. Apparently you had said it out loud. You bit your lips.

"What?" you asked shakily.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." he whispered.

"No." You forcibly pushed yourself off of him and stood far away from the bed, limping with your brace. He opened his eyes and sat up. "You don't mean any of this. Stop talking. Stop making me so confused." you said, choking on your tears.

"Y/N, I'm done hiding my feelings." he pushed the blanket off and walked towards you. "This is the truth. That I love you and I always had. You're a miracle to me. Since we've been living together, I haven't turned at all. I haven't felt so liberated in so long."

"You love me because somehow I cured you?"

"No, haven't you been listening? I have loved you for so long, long before any of this pretending. I realized last night that I never want to be apart from you and I want to love you the way you deserve." He went to touch your cheek but you backed away.

"But what about Jia?" you asked quietly.

"I haven't seen her since the day I sent her to Paris. I haven't called her or talk to her. I've never even kissed her, she was just a distraction. You have been the only one on my mind." he answered truthfully.

"So where were you all those nights?"

"I stayed at the office. I knew that if I had come home, it would burden you because you might think it's your fault that I'm not going out and living my bachelor life. The truth is, I don't want that life anymore. I want what we have, I want to come home to you and hold you to sleep at night. And I want us to wake up and get ready together. I want to hear your laugh, when you mumble to yourself while you work or singing when you cook. I want all of that. Y/N, I love-"

"No, don't say it!" you yelled, covering your ears. "This isn't true. It's one of your little games. You can't just suddenly have this character change. It doesn't make sense."

He squeezed his eyes shut, also getting emotional. "I know it doesn't make sense, but that's because this has been me all along. I have loved you since we were kids."

"But you rejected me."

"That was for your own good, I swear." he exhaled. "I'm so sorry for switching back and forth between different personas, but I did it to protect you."

"By acting like you don't give a shit about my feelings one second and acting possessive as fuck the next?"

"I know that was wrong, but please trust me." he begged. In his eyes were agony and regret. This wasn't how he expected his confession to go, but he knew it wouldn't be easy. He would continue to beg until you believe him.

"Namjoon, there was never any trust between us. We're a house of cards, bound to fall." you said, looking away. He dropped his arms to his side. His knees felt weak.

"Please believe me." he cried. This was 26-year-old Namjoon crying, something that almost never happened. It broke you more.

"You should go. I have to get ready for work." you said, turning your back to him. At first, you heard nothing, and then his shuffling footsteps, and then more silence. It was then that you crouch down and cried. In the span of that 5 minutes, your whole world turned upside-down. What you thought you knew about Namjoon was apparently false. He was being serious and so honest but you still couldn't bring yourself to believe him, considering all that he did all these years.

When you got out of your room, he was no longer in the house. You texted Taehyung to make sure to keep an eye on him. He was in a vulnerable state and you wouldn't be around to calm him down. That made you guilty. The whole day at your office, you couldn't focus on anything and messed up a few prescriptions. Jungkook was worried and told you to go home to take a break. The weight of what you did finally laid itself on you, it was wrong to push him away and not listen to him. Once at home, you remained on the couch with a heavy heart, waiting for him to get back.