Struggles Of Living In A Society

The Start Of Something Ugly

    After the whole drama, as I stated before I started to keep myself away from all this stuff and started reading about rather more informative and useful things. By the end of my fourth grade I had completely forgotten about all the things that happened. Even at the start of my fifth grade, I hadn't thought about it.
     Until
One day we all friends were talking about our experiences with ghosts and all that paranormal shit. The Christian friend I first talked about said that once her brother heard screams from his boss's office, so when he went to the office the screams started to sound like as if the girl was being made the victim of ZAYADATI. But when he went in his office there was no one.
    Ironically I didn't knew was zayadati is, so I asked her. She replied yo do you know rape?? I was literally blank. Then she told me that rape is zayadati and it means that someone is forcing someone to be the victim of their lust or are trying to forcefully have sex with him or her.
     The moment she told me I was literally like how can that even happen and she suggested me to use the High Great Mighty GOOGLE in order to actually underground about it.
     So yeah I was sooo in shock that I did the research. I remember that I couldn't even understand one link or any description because. All that was coming were the most popular or viral cases of rape.
      I decided not to ask anyone and stay silent about the whole matter. Anyways after somedays there was a drama teaser coming on one of the broadcasting channels. In the teaser the female lead yells at her husband that she is Pak(pure, clean) not Napak(impure, tainted, dirty) the Male lead replied her with "your reports will be the one to determine ". Now I really wanted to know about this whole PAK and NAPAK thing. Rather than doing some research I finally went to my the Great sister.
    I asked about it and the face she made was something I still remember. She asked me if I knew about rape. I told her that I heard about it but I am not so sure what it means. She answered all my answers and at that time I had one of the most horrible, pathetic, horrific and every expression you can expect from a terrified person.
    It's just absurd that how we women are judged on the bases of we bleed on our first time or not. Why isn't there anything to determine whether it's a man's first time or not?? And to be exact if you have extremely abnormal periods or if you use tampons you won't bleed on your first time. So, what should we do if that happens with us??
   Absolutely nothing because the men in our country are gonna judge us by checking if we bleed or not on our first time. Like dude that's batshit crazy.