Secret (1969)

Chapter 9

I'm sitting  on the bed, staring at the wall. Today I had my first kiss with a boy, I'm afraid of because of how he acts and also don't know well. Everything is so wrong, but at that time, it seemed right. My thoughts are blown away by the sound of the door.

"Are you insane? Did you smoke a cigarette?" Lily rushes into the room.

"What? No of  course!" I frown and shake my head.

"I saw fag-ends downstairs and throw them away until parents saw." She says and sits in an armchair. 

"Ah, it may was Zayn's." I answer and lie on the bed.

"Zayn was here?" She asks surprised. "What did he want?"

"Yes, he was looking for Liam." I whisper and close my eyes. 

I'm lying like this for awhile until remembering that I have homework to do. I rise up slowly, take books and sit at the desk. After today, it's really hard to centre on the lessons, but I try my best and finish them. After that we go to sleep. 

Next morning, aunt wakes us up. We get ready, have a breakfast and head the road to school. During the way, I'm silent, Lily is telling something but I'm not listening at all. My mind is on yesterday again.

"Are you listening to me?" She flaps her hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, I fell to thinking."

"What's wrong with you? You've been thoughtfull this two days."

"Nothing." I shrug. "I was just thinking about exams. I'm afraid of them beforehand." I lie and look forward. I want to tell her truth but can't. I was the one pearching, but did the same. We get to school very soon. There are students blending into each other, outside. We get into the classroom. When I look to the direction of my desk, Niall is already sitting there, smiling and shaking his hand at me. 

"How are you?" I ask him and take out a math copybook. 

"Good, you?" 

"I'm fine." I answer and straighten on the chair. 

"Have you done a homework?" He asks me and I nod at him. When teacher enters the classroom, we get up and the start the lesson. 

Fortunately or unfortunately she calls for me to solve a problem. At first I get so distrait, being afraid of class not to laugh at me, but when I see Niall's encouraging gaze I calm down. I do the task and sit back to my place. "Well done." Niall says to me and gives me a hand to high five him. 

One week passes like nothing. I've not seen Zayn in this time and even haven't heard anything about him. Auntie is in the kitchen and uncle at a job as always. Lily jumps at once, as we hear a knock on the door. When she opens it, Martina comes in the room with shining face. 

"You don't know what's happened!" She almost screams and dashes down on the bed. I get fulled with interest and sit with them on the bed. 

"C'mon, tell us! Hurry up!" We stare at her with light in our eyes, waiting for her to start. 

"So..." She takes a deep breath and laughs. We look at each other and laugh too, by confusion. "Zayn Malik!" She crys out those words with happiness and my heart skips a beat, despite I don't know yet, what has happened. Smile fades from my face and I stare at her tensed. "Yesterday, I was in a club and he came there. When he saw me, he came to me, I think he recognized me from you. Then we talked a little, he offered me a drink. Then we got out and..." She bites on her low lip and starts jumping on her sit. 

I feel like something broke in my stomach, heat rises up in me and I'm about to cry. I watch Matina, hugging Lily with happiness. Both of them are happy. I swear this is the first time in my whole life, when I want to drag someone with their hair! He kissed me first, not her! I tilt down my head to not show them my face and unfortunately Martina goes on telling her story.