Secret (1969)

Chapter 8

I wince with fright and touch my chest, when I see Zayn sitting on the couch. I stare at him with widen eyes but he chuckles, stubs out the cigarette he was smoking and gets up. 

"What are you doing here?!" I'm trying to ask him bravely, but get scared, when he doesn't answer and comes closer to me. I step back and press my back to the door. He comes so close that, his body is far away from mine with milimetres.  

"Where do you think you were going?" His face comes closer to mine. I look away, but he grabs my chin with his fingers and makes me look at him. 

"W-what are you doing here?" He brings his face so close, that my breath holds.

"Liam told me to wait for him here, but you weren't in, so I invited myself." He whispers in my ear. This makes me shiver and then I wince, when he slides his hand down to my butt. I slip away from him quickly.

Don't knowing what to do or where to go, I turn on a TV and stare at it. Zayn sits next to me on the couch. I swallow, hoping he will take his attention to screen from me. I'm trying not to express excitement and pretend finding watching TV interesting.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asks ironically.

His question makes me more distrait and I don't know, whether lie to him or tell a truth. "Yes." I mutter, deciding to tell him truth.

Zayn chuckles and shakes his head. Shivers cover my whole body, while his hand finds its way up my inner thigh. My breath holds. I grab his hand to take it away from me and start staring at TV. My eyes get widen as I see what's on screen. I really don't want to watch couple kissing, with Zayn. So I turn it off immediately. That makes him laugh. I sit back. 

"You haven't kissed anyone yet, have you?" He gets closer to me. I feel heat rise in me and get so distrait, don't know what to do. I wince and get shivers, as his hand is on my thigh again. I get frozen and stare at him with open mouth and widen eyes, when he lifts up my skirt. "Terrible uniform!" He sighs. 

"I like it." I say quickly and get his hand away from me, then he comes closer, again. He rests one of his hand on the couch, touching my cheek with another, making me to look at him. I'm looking at him apprehensively, but he-portentously. I try to get him rid of me, but he holds my face with both of his hands, brings me to his chest and kisses me below the ear, that makes me to close eyes. He rises his head and stops right in front of mine. I'm feeling his breathing on my lips. Then his lips touch mine. I open my eyes with amazement, but Zayn's are closed. I'm feeling something inside, that is pleasant, but what I'm doing isn't right! 

I open my mouth to argue him, but he takes this advantage and slips his tounge into my mouth. This gesture of him makes me sick. I touch my chest and feel my heartbeat getting faster and faster. Zayn holds my hand and tightens it. I moan involuntarily and kiss him back, that indulges Zayn and he lies me down on the couch. 

God, please forgive me. What am I doing now?

Zayn slides his hand from my chest to my shank, lifts it up and wraps it around his waist. While kissing him, I feel so strange, that I can't even opposite him, but want more and more. This gesture of him makes me forget the fright and the fact, that I don't know how to kiss. I entangle my fingers through his hair and pull it. Zayn groans. I look at him with widen eyes. This was so pleasant thet I repeat it.  

"Does it make you feel good?" He speeks into my mouth, without breaking the kiss. "Does it make you feel good when you please me?" He asks and looks at me aslant. Instead of answering him I close my eyes and sigh. I feel very embarrased about what we did seconds ago and can't look at him in the eyes. "Open your eyes!" He commands and I open them slowly. "Look at me right in the eyes." He cups my face with his hands. "Do you want me to go on?" He asks and looks at me right in the eyes, waiting for answer but I don't know what to say.

"Which one is worse sin, one that we're doing now or a lie?" I ask him slowly in a quiet voice, not expecting an answer from him.

"You're so innocent." He says without tearing his eyes away from mine and licks his lips.

I immediately push him away from me, when I hear knocking on the door.

"God, Lily and Liam!" I jump at once and start correcting the clothes.

"There was no motorbike voice, may someone has stopped the car." He rolles his eyes.

"Oh my, aunt and uncle have arrived!" The expression on Zayn's face changes and so does on mine. "Hide somewhere, hurry up!" I pull his arm.

"No!" He says strictly. 

"What will they say seeing you here?!" 

"I'm not going to hide." 

"Zayn please!"

"No!"

"Go to my room." He looks at me aslat, then stands and goes upstairs. "First door on your right!" I shout and rush to open the door to aunt and uncle.

They tell me everything about William. The news makes me happy. I help them getting luggage in and after finishing it, rush upstairs to Zayn. "Zayn!" I exclaim quietly, close the doors and turn to Zayn who's rummaging into my underwears. 

"Is this yours?" He laughs and showes me pink one. 

"Be quiet!" I 'shout' at him and snatch it from his hands. 

"It'd be interesting to see you in this bra." He says with chuckle and spins my bra on his finger. Oh my god! I know now I'm bright red like a crab. This makes Zayn laugh more. I snatch my things from his hand and shove them in drawer. I push him to the balcony.

"Go!"

"Okay, I'll see all of your underwears and then I'll go." He says and winks at me artfully. 

"Please, go!" What if someone comes in the room and sees me with him!

"Okay, okay." He sighs and goes to the balcony. Before jumping, he says "See you." 

I cover my face with hands and sigh deeply. What have I done? I was kissing to absolutely strange person for me, who doomed me to police, ignored me when I fell and didn't greet me in the morning. 

This is not me. This is not that Annabelle. "God, help me!" I say out loud and cross myself.