The Dream

Understanding

The rest of the day went on slowly. It was too boring for Sal to remember much. The lessons he learned were fuzzy, but his dream was still fresh. He guessed that's what happens when you dwell on something for so long. He was really excited to talk to Travis after school. Well, no, he would quite call it excitement. Perhaps relief? Maybe as though he had fulfilled a duty? Maybe all three, he didn't know, emotions are confusing enough as it is without strange, prophetic dreams dictating your actions.
At their lockers, Sal gathered his things with his friends. It was a relatively good end of a school day; algebra was his only assignment.
"Hey, Sal," asked Larry, "Ash and I are gonna stop by the music store after school. Wanna come?"
"Sorry, I can't. I already have to go somewhere after school," Sally explained.
"Ah, that's cool, man," Ash replied, "See you later, then."
"Where you going?" asked Larry.
"Since Todd's busy tonight, I asked someone in my algebra class to help me out," Sal explained, "So I'm going to their place after school."
"Oh, I see," Larry said with a shrug, "Who is it? Did you have to pay Leslie? Their prices for help are kinda unfair. I guess I understand though..."
Sal frowned. Larry hated Travis' guts more than he loved his own mom, probably. If he told him... Well... The less said the better.
"Oh, you know, I asked however was available," Sal stated in a dismissal tone.
"Want me to wait with you?" asked Larry.
"Naw, you don't need to do that," Said Sally, "We're going to go as soon as I meet up with him, which I should probably do now, by the way. Besides, I wouldn't want to keep Ash waiting too."
"If you insist," replied Larry, although he was not totally thrilled with that decision, "I guess you'd better get going then. Goodbye, Sally Face."
"Good bye, Larry Face." Sal watched as Larry walked away. Then, Sally turned and went the other way. He and Travis agreed to meet up in the bathroom, so that's where he went.
"Are they gone?" asked Travis as soon as the door closed behind Sal.
"Yeah," Sal confirmed.
"c'mon loser," Travis sighed lowly, "I wanna get home before my- I want to get home soon."
Sal noticed the error Travis made. As if he needed anymore red flags concerning Travis' safety. Sal didn't need any more evidence. Sal had already made up his mind ages ago, and every new piece of the puzzle increased his drive. He needed to get Travis out of this household. Away from his father.
He followed Travis out the doors of the school. Very few students were left, since most everything in the town is walking distance so the place is almost empty by 3:15. Travis' house was not far from the church. A long stretch of woods stretched out beyond them. The sight of it made Sal's stomach tie into knots, but he tried hard not to think about it. Travis didn't go into the house, though. "Follow me," he muttered, nearly inaudibly. Sal listened. Travis lead him into the back yard, and slipped underneath the back patio through a small gap made my a break in the wood. Sal nervously slid in afterwards.
The space underneath the patio was larger and deeper than sal expected. Judging by the worn out shovel on the ground, Sal guessed that travis dug this trench out on his own. There were arrangements of wooden planks and cut rounds of tree trunks to form improvised chairs and a table. The floor was some sort of mixture of rocks and dirt. The rocks were smooth, though, and weren't painful to walk across. In a corner were some blankets and pillows bundled up in the corner, all of which seemed mixed and matched. There was also a small cooler near the sort-or table.
"Wow, Travis. Did you make this?" Sal asked.
"Yeah," answered Travis, grabbing his arm as he smiled shyly at the ground, "I need a place to get away sometimes."
"Do you... Sleep out here sometimes?" asked Sal, gesturing to the blankets.
"N- No, of course not!" yelped Travis, flinching, "I just..." he trailed off for a few seconds, "It's comfortable is all! I can come out here and read the bible!"
"Okay," Sal accepted, although he did not believe Travis at all.
"Let me help you with that homework, now," Travis prompted. He stood there with his arms crossed, watching Sal with a condescending look.
Sal had to fight back laughter as he pulled his algebra worksheet from his bag. Travis always glared at people trying to appear higher and mightier than them. It was hilarious to Sal. Although Travis and him were around to the same size, he was quite smaller than most other boys their age. It was amusing that such a small boy could convey so much hatred in his eyes. And yet, here Travis was.
Travis sat at the "table," so Sal pulled up a stump chair and sat down with him, placing his homework on the table. He noticed the table seemed to be sanded down pretty well; Travis really knew how to build well, it seemed. Travis pulled a couple of pencils out of his pocket, and handed one to Sal.
"So in order to solve this one, you have to take the base times the height. Simple right?" Travis explained, "I'm not going to face for your tiny brain am I?"
"No, I can keep up," Sal answered, smiling underneath his mask. Travis was so petty it was sometimes funny.
"I'm sorry," Travis admitted, "That last comment was unnecessary."
Sal couldn't help but feel proud of the progress that Travis had made the past few weeks. A month ago, apologising would have been unheard of by Travis. Now, he would apologise regularly. He was making large strides.
"So, in this one, you don't have the base. So, you need to use the pythagorean theorem. They side is 7 inches, and this side is 5 inches. The pythagorean theorem is A squared times B squared equals C squared, C being the hypotenuse. 7 here is the hypotenuse. Write here the equation 5 squared times B squared equals 7 squared," Travis explained, pointing to a space near the second problem.
"Wow, Travis, I'm impressed!" complemented Sally as he wrote down the equation as instructed, "You're almost as good as this as Todd. Almost."
"Don't compare me to that Queer!" spat Travis defensively.
"No- I meant you're smart-!" Sal rushed to apologise, "I'm sorry, Travis. I didn't mean to upset you. I should know better than to bring that up around you. I respect that you're insecure about-"
"I'm sorry!" Travis blurted out, "I shouldn't call people that! I'm doing my best but it's so difficult!"
They sat together in an uncomfortable silence for a while. "Let's just focus and do the math, alright?" suggested Sal.
"Yeah," Travis agreed. His face still had a distant expression of hurt. Sal had a feeling it wasn't related to him or Todd.
"So first you square the five and the seven."
"25. 49. Got it."
"Subtract 25 from 49"
"24"
"Get the square root of it."
"How?"
"Here, hand it over," Travis took the paper, and showed how to get the square root of a number like 24. They ended up with 2 times the square root of 6 as the answer.
"Two down, eight to go," Travis mumbled under his breath. He sounded tired, or almost scared. Travis always seemed on edge, and Sal didn't blame him.
"Travis, are you... Happy?" Sal asked, trying to sound casual.
Travis looked up from the paper. "Wha-? Why do you ask?"
"I just wonder sometimes," Sal said with a shrug.
"Well, stay on task!" Travis said with a harsh tone. It wasn't really a yell, but it almost seemed to carry the same weight.
"Sorry, yes," Sal murmured, "How do we do the next one?"
"Okay, so this one is like the first one..." Travis began. Sal really did think it was amazing. How well Travis worked out these math problems, and how well Travis has been trying to be nicer. Underneath all that hate and anger was just a frightened boy too screwed over by circumstances to be any better on his own. He was also a rather handsome boy, too, and Sal bet that if Travis weren't so bruised and scratched up all the time, he would have noticed how pretty Travis was sooner. He guessed that life had ruined that for Travis too.
"And that's how you do that one," Travis finished.
Sal nodded, half listening, writing down the equations without absorbing the information. He still was thinking about Travis. He wondered why it was so prominent in his mind. Then again, with Travis there was so much to think about. They moved on to the next math problem, the lesson a little more that background noise but not by a lot. There was his home life. Prickly like a cactus, and leaving Travis looking like he ran into a patch of them. Number six. There was also his attitude. It drew in Sal's attention despite the rude demeanor Travis displayed. The next math problem. There was how Travis appeared, obviously wounds caused by abuse. But what could he do? What could either of them do? The eighth equation. Travis was distracting enough as it was, without the mystery. He was loud, he drew attention, and he wasn't half bad looking either. The ninth problem, and Sal spent it staring at Travis, taking in how Travis was truly a beautiful boy, a mystery, full of hurt and hatred, but also so, so much untapped love.
The tenth problem. Sal snapped back to reality, suddenly re-emersing himself into his schoolwork. Not because of anything particularly interesting or difficult about it caught his attention, his own thoughts did. He wanted to say it was from difficulty (this problem, once again, involved the Pythagorean theorem, and Sal just couldn't quite get the hang of it), but he knew it wasn't. It was that he was afraid of those feeling either, like Travis was. He was just afraid to feel like that after what he saw in his dream. The final problem was fished all too fast, and yet too slow, for Sal.
They sat in silence for a moment. Sal thought of just leaving. Perhaps trying to talk to Travis now was already a lost cause.
"Yknow, Sal, I'm really not happy."
Or maybe it wasn't. "What do you mean?" asked Sal.
"Well, I guess sometimes-" Travis took a deep breath, "I guess I don't feel things the way I want. I feel things that scare me, I feel wrong all the time, I don't feel emotions when I want to and feel them when I don't. I think I'm trapped? I don't know, I just-" A sob cut him off. Travis grabbed his arms and huddled himself in, desperate to keep his emotions inside him.
Sal reaches out an arm towards Travis. The reaction was not odd; in fact, Sal half expected it, and yet it was still alarming. He cautiously place a gentle hand on Travis' shoulder. Surprisingly, Travis leaned into it. Soon enough, Sal was just hugging Travis as he cried.
"I don't want to be here, Sal!" Travis cried, "I don't want to be at my house! I don't want to be in these situations all the time! I feel helpless, and I'm so scared!"
Sal held Travis tighter. "Everything has an ending Travis. Someday, it will all be over. You'll be happy, and you won't be trapped anymore." Was that the right thing to say? He hoped so.
"I wish I could make it all disappear," Travis sighed, his sobs reducing finally. He was still crying, just softly and slowly.
This statement alarmed Sal even more. "What do you mean? Like, get help?" He asked.
"I don't know," Travis said softly, in defeat, "I want out. Might call someone to help me. I don't know if anyone can help me, though. I'm afraid."
They decided to sit on the blanket pile now. Travis was still whimpering, and Sal made his best effort to keep comforting him. Sal noticed that it was something Travis desperately needed. Sal couldn't even imagine what a life without kindness or comfort was even like, even though the person quivering next to him had lived it.
"Sal," Travis murmured after a long silence, "Do you- this question might seem strange coming from me, I guess, but I really need to ask someone now! Do you think God's real?"
Sal was taken aback. Religion never meant much to Sal, but he knew how much of a role it played in Travis' life. "Yes," Sal responded, deciding it was the best answer he could give Travis right now, "I do think he's real. I think he loves you a lot."
"If God's real, then is there a Heaven? And a Hell?" Travis asked.
"Yes," Sal answered.
Travis pauses for a moment. "Do you think I'm going to go to Hell?"
"No," Sal answered. It was his honest answer too. He didn't think that anything that Travis has done would curse him to Hell. Not even if Travis thought he would for going to Hell, because that simply wasn't true.
They returned to silence, letting time drag on indefinitely. There was a sacrecity to the isolation between the two. An understanding formed between a boy that needed to understand and a boy that needed to be understood. A strange sort of bond, so important to have; it was necessary in a way. A calm moment of timelessness that both of them had needed for a long time.
The banging of a door opening broke them out of silence. "Travis?" An angry voice cut through the air.
Travis tensed up. He grabbed Sal by the shoulders, and looked him dead in the eyes. "You need to leave," he said in a low tone.
"Wha-" Sal began in confusion.
"That's Father!" He murmured, just barely audible, "You need to go now!"
Travis' sense of urgency was displayed in his terrified expression. Sal gathered his things as quietly as he could while Travis went back into the house to greet his father. As Sal ran from the house he heard yelling, and the sickening smack of a fist against skin as Travis screamed. Sal hadn't had his stomach drop that low since he found human skins in Mrs. Packerton's apartment.