The Queen of England

Chapter 21 Dress

The cold night air feels good on my skin as I step out of the palace and into the garden. This place has always brought me serenity, especially after the nightmares started.

I pull my jacket closer as Cody follows me out. I know he has nightmares too, but he always seems to be comforted by a simple sighting of my body next to his and he fine.

I wish it were as easy for me.

Cody takes my hand as we begin our walk, and I know what he's about to ask.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

Kate says it's a good idea to talk about it, but that bitch left out of there before she had the chance to be shot.

I know I'm being a bitch. She was just as afraid as I was. But at least Cody didn't leave me.

I suddenly remember the day at the hospital.

"Why didn't you go?"

"What?"

"When I was frozen. Why didn't you just leave? And why did you wait for me after I went to hospital? And why did you come to the coffee shop anyway?"

"I couldn't leave you."

"Why not?"

"I love you, Britt."

Cody loves me.

I take a deep breath. "Do you think it's a good idea? To talk about it, I mean." I ask.

"That's up to you. Does it help you?" he asks.

"I don't know." I say, looking out over the flower beds.

Cody sighs. "Me neither." He whispers.

There is a long silence. Then I decide to break it.

"Do you want to talk about yours?" I ask.

He gives me a wry look. I stare right back.

"How'd you know I had a bad dream?" he asks.

"Cody, you were awake. When I called for you, it was because I felt you sit up. You sat up fast, like you'd been jerked. You had one too." I say.

He sighs. "It was about you." He says quietly.

"That doesn't make me sound like a good person." I say. It was meant to be a joke, but my voice is so quiet it sounds more like a secret.

Cody smiles slightly anyway. "Not like that." He says.

"Then what?"

His smile vanishes.

"Cody?" I ask when he stays silent.

He sighs. "You were changing your clothes. And...and you couldn't pick your arms up. Because of this." He says, fingers brushing, light as a butterfly, over my stitches.

"That's it?" I ask. Why did that upset him so much?

"Then I helped you. With your shirt, I mean. And when I took it off you...there was a long cut on your stomach. And you said Lucian put it there." He says.

"Lucian?" I echoed. "Why him?"

"Because I don't trust him. You know that." He says.

I stay silent. The thought of Lucian being close enough to hurt me sickens me. I can't imagine how much it disgusts Cody.

"Are you ever going to tell me what he did?" I ask.

Cody sighs. "Maybe later. I want to ask you something." He says.