Jewels of the Crown

♛ 4 ♛

We arrive at the outskirts of the town a short walk later, and looking to the left I can see the stables that I saw when I first arrived in the kingdom in the distance, and it gives me some reassurance to see my way back home is so close. We stop at the bottom of the wall, and he turns to me.

"Okay with breaking a rule?" he asks, a mischievous glint coming to his eyes. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, now regretting agreeing to come with him. I've been conditioned my whole life to follow the rules of the kingdom, and I have seen what happens to the people who don't.

"Depends," I hesitantly reply. He points up the wall. Does he want to go to the top of the wall? I know there's a walkway where guards can patrol up there, I've seen it from the castle, but we're risking being charged with trespassing and even possibly invasion or spying. A thought crosses my mind. I'm the princess. All I have to do if we do get caught is to reveal my true identity, and we should be alright. I may ruin my chances of ever coming back to the kingdom alone and will be found out by my mother, and the advisors... As I begin to think of all the consequences, my gut starts to twist and turn. It may be nice, for once, to go against all the rules I've been told to follow. I've never rebelled in my life until tonight. I decide that I've already broken multiple rules by even being here, so why not do it all, within reason, while I can. If I am caught, and all my worries from only moments earlier do come to fruition, I can say that I have done everything that I could in the kingdom. I'll be going out in a bang.

"We're not going to get caught?" I ask. He shrugs, his mischief touching his lips lightly.

"Can't say for sure. I've not been caught... yet. It's worth it." I breathe in deeply, getting some well-needed courage, and agree.

"Alright." His smile transforms from a small one to one similar to earlier, again transforming his face with it. He motions for me to follow him, and I do, to a staircase protruding from the wall. It looks uneven and like it'll fall apart at the mere mention of pressure on it. My hesitancy obviously touches my face.

"Come on. It's safe. I've done this countless times," he encourages, before stepping onto the first step. He continues up the stairs, and when he's reached the top he looks back down to me. I look both ways, watching the stations holding the guards, waiting for them to leave their posts and berate us. I begin to question all my choices tonight again. Why am I following this man that I've only just met? Even though I resolved to break one more rule tonight, I'm struggling to get myself to do it, to step onto the staircase. Although the kingdom and the castle have the same rules, I have been told that I have to follow them all, to be a good role model for the rest of the kingdom, and it has been drilled into me constantly.

On the other hand, the rest of the kingdom know that they have rules, and will follow the majority of them, but they don't get hung up on following them all to the letter. They know the consequences, but it doesn't seem to affect them as much. Whereas I have trouble getting rid of everything that I have been taught and told, they never have to think about being a good influence. No one would be outraged at them, well not as much as they would be if they found out that I was breaking the rules. Part of me feels guilty and like I'm going against my parents directly - I know they both would be disappointed in me. I understand that it's not an awful crime like murder, but it's still a crime. I don't understand how anyone can commit these crimes without feeling any hesitancy at the possibility of being caught.

I let out a small sigh, knowing that I've probably gone over the same thing again and again in my head and that all I'm doing is running in circles. I need to leave the castle and their rules behind me and break out of the circle. I need to stop worrying about what people will think, I'm no longer 'Adellia the princess' I'm just Lia. I don't have to act a certain way anymore, and at the revelation, I feel free for the first time in a long time, maybe even ever. I don't have to worry about anything that I have to do in the castle - I don't have to worry about taking over from my mother, I don't have to worry about acting a certain way, I can just act like a normal 18-year-old woman, and it feels good.