Paradox Space Won't Stop Him

CHAPTER THREE

==> Dave Strider: be Dave Strider.

You are now successfully the Original Dave Strider of this graceful story of wonders and maddening bullshittery that is your unfortunate pile of shit life. You bitterly disagree with your consciousness, that no, you are not actually somewhat irritated that you're stuck with a few undying kids and that you might be forced to venture into their world, and into the Medium in which they played to probably end up wrecking yourself further into this mess, and become one with them. Like, the cool kids gang. The Kool Kidz Kgang. Yeah, that sounds so much better. For now, you let the existential dread and slight depression slip their way between the poorly-repaired cracks of the wall around your brain, or heart, or whatever the fuck symbolistic bullshit you can muster right now. You haven't even gotten out of bed yet.

That's right, some time has passed. Somehow, sometime in which you manage not to monologue unironically to yourself as you help Dirk--, Bro, make plans for this little town you're all going to make. The time in which you spent with your Dirk, kind of but not really but he's all the same yours, with the younger and older Lalondes keeping you company. It kind of keeps you up at night knowing you're related to them sometimes. And so, a week had gracefully passed. You've noticed (with your eyes) that a Certain Someone was avoiding you, and you really didn't think about what you'd do if you ended up doing the tango with your own dumbass.

==> Dave Strider: get up and go do your shit.

You decide to do just that, and shuffle yourself out of bed, smiling to yourself in the comfort of your dark room, happy that you finally got some blinds, and navigated your man cave with as much pride and disorientation as possible, tripping over your own feet at some point. You quietly admitted to yourself, in a mutter, that you're groggy as all fuck. Your place wasn't a big deal, really, just a room in the middle of many that John and Co. alchemized out of their ass to make life just a little bit easier while you got everything up and running slowly but surely. You talked to Jade a little bit about this and she did mention the fact that populating the place isn't a problem. That's good, you guess, you don't really want to discuss kid fucking. Although, they're not exactly too young themselves. Getting to your bathroom as gracefully as a dying dog, you splash some water on your face and brush your teeth and hair. Leaning back, you take a quick look at your own face and let your left hand fall across your cheek softly, almost papping yourself. You snorted at the callouses on your own hand, and dragged your hand off of your face. You've been trying to be optimistic about this, you swear, but you don't really know if you want- fuck that, you do NOT want to go through with the plan that was set up for you. The prospect of dying only to come back to life as some sort of God really does not churn your butter. Like, at fucking all.

Sometimes, you think to yourself while you get dressed up for another day outside, when you don't get asked to come out of your hole and help, you wonder if it would've been better if you just decided to stay there. Then again, you could technically ask Dirk about what happened, but you're not 100% motherfucking sure you wanna know what happened to your ass in that future, especially if it was near. Mostly, because you despise thinking of this (un)fortunate situation as a good thing. You? A pessimist? Nah.

You check your hair one more time, and stroll right out of the door, just pulling it closed behind you. Honestly, why would anyone want to steal any of your dumb shit anyway? Squinting, you sigh and cover your eyes with one of your hands. Damn this shit planet having some sort of Sun, damn leaving your shades back in your own actual universe, damn-

"'Sup," curtly said, exactly like how you'd say it.

Right, that's you that's talking isn't it. That's new.

He's just standing there, existing, near your front door. He probably already awkolwedges how awkward that actually is in hindsight, and you can tell by the way the right corner of his mouth twitches downwards when he sees you squinting at him. What, are your wrinkles showing?