Teach Me How To Be Okay

-I-

"Your insolence is practically unbearable" izuru spoke lowly, though his voice projected such strong emotion in the words that left his lips "You'd prefer me to allow you to starve boy? Allow you to grovel at my feet and allow the hunger to eat your innards like a hungry dog? Eat or you're own coffin awaits you"

"I'm sorry, I simply cannot accept such a lovely dinner made from someone as amazing as you. Trash like me-" the pale boy spoke, green crazed eyes, only filled with the hopeless self resent that he had grown to adapt to "then do as you please" the conversation would no longer carry on, as izuru ate in silence. Komaedas eyes ever so often eyeing the lovely feast laid upon him, and oh how he wished to eat such mouth watering delectables, yet his own mind allowed non of it. Would the god-like deity allow him to starve? Surely he wouldn't, though izurus efforts went nowhere with komaeda, he still tried, to both of the boys surprise. Both stubborn bulls, bumping heads against the other, though one would always win, the pushing of boundaries and wasted efforts never bored the bull who's name only brought upon the word "boredom" a mind twister, really "excuse me" komaede spoke, a sudden rush of anxiety clogging his throat as he stood from his spot of dining. Izurus ruby eyes stayed fixated on the fine China plate, holding the food that tempted komaeda like the devil, Adam and eve. He waited no longer for izuru to respond, hurried foot steps to his bedroom. The door closing softly, and the sound of him clattering to floor. Had he pushed himself? Eating nothing for a long period of time, cleaning and cooking, only to toss the food, calling it un-worthy, though hoping a part of izuru would accept his hopeless state of dependence, the hopeless, weak efforts to grab his attention, begging that he would show interest in the effort, anything from izuru absolutely anything. On the blackened end of his mind, negativity coiled like a snake, mocking him, his efforts are useless, anything izuru has ever given him was empty pity, and even HE, komaeda, didn't deserve it.

His stomach growled of something inhuman, curling into itself, causing a dry Gag from the boy who's stupidity had caused him the pain that he now endured daily for approval "of all the nonsensical things you've concurred, this has to be the worst" izuru would say, maybe even frowning, showing hatred towards komaeda "What a burden, what would you ever do without my assistance" the statements that komaeda had thought up in his mind only continued, worsening each second, each time, each one sounding harsher than that before. Oh how he wished he could stop the mental abuse he suffered daily. After the fit of coughing and heavy breathing, komaedas symptoms finally ceased, giving him the strength to lift himself from the marble floor. Before now, he hadn't felt the cold material underneath him. Swirls of brown, tan, cream, all locked in a glassy coat, forming shapes of creatures and demons, causing the hallucination of possible accidental art "my mind wanders away from me too much" komaeda rasped, pulling his eyes away from the ground. Finally brought back to his senses. he was hungry, ravished, but he would starve and die for izuru.

"I cannot say that im bored with what you've brought upon yourself, though now that the consequences have caught up with your foolishness, do you still wish to starve" izuru pursed his lips, standing in the wooden doorway, the gaze of a spear that had been sharpened by the strongest metal. Red eyes flickered with curiousity, only for a mili-second, before it was obvious that izuru had become bored with the situation that lay at hand "would you allow it if i said yes" komaeda managed a weak smile, his tone was mocking.

"Eat or starve yourself to death, you swore to work at my expense, is it now that you think so highly of yourself that I shall work at your expense? Is this another cry for attention" komaeda grinned "as to be expected...you saw right through me. But, there's one thing you got completely wrong"

"Enlighten me" izuru replied.
Komaeda enjoyed the eagerness that hid behind the never changing expression hibernating on the obsidian haired male "I cannot think highly of myself, I would think that someone such as yourself would know of something so obvious, is it reserve course after shock?" Komaeda asked. Yes this was what he wanted. This attention. He knew izuru would grow bored but this attention was absolute. His existence and efforts, everything just for this small meaningless, though not to komaeda, conversation that always lead nowhere but in arguments and abuse, komaeda took more hits than he had admitted to himself "komaeda i have boundaries, I've tolerated your idiocy this far, do not cause meaningless yelling. You know how I despise it. I'm no longer concerning myself with your state.  Know that if you attempt suicide, I will force you to live and suffer through it. Calling you a pitiful little thing is an understatement-" as if he had caught his anger grow in with each word that he spoke, he abruptly paused. Komaedas expression telling izuru that he had gotten through to him, though it wasn't his objective, it was a mediocre surprise. Though the surprise quickly died, leaving the bitter after taste of boredom  once again. In a way, it had brought him back to light, a realization "I apologize. Please eat something, or else it'd be near impossible to serve me in your state. If you're concerned about the food, then we will just warm up cup noodles" his statement was re-worded, completely out of concern for the malnourished boy. Though his words showed worry, his voice and face didn't match what he spoke, which was in some cases extremely useful, but komaeda was the type who enjoyed seeing what you were feeling, looming over you like a lost puppy just to see what reaction he could squeeze out of you "....cup noodles doesn't sound so bad, I'm sorry for worrying you, you really
really shouldn't concern yourself with trash li-" komaeda finally spoke "Enough." Izuru interrupted.