Teach Me How To Be Okay

-IIII-

komaeda placed the last bag onto the counter, briefling allowing his eyes to brush over all they had brought "yuck...." komaeda mumbled, setting the bottle of yellowish liquid aside. to a slight surprise he was surprised that izuru drank the cheap type of beer, it tasted awful, but any type of alcohol tasted bad to komaeda. it didnt really matter if it was expensive or not. he remembered begging izuru to let him try it, and izuru declined telling him that he wouldnt like it, but being stubborn komaeda continued to prod. eventually izuru had given in and komaeda was absolutely disgusted. izuru even offered to buy a different type, to which komaeda naively complied, and izuru ended up drinking it all by himself throughout the week becuase as expected, komaeda didnt like it. he was sure izuru had some hidden motive of buying the expensive shitty tasting substance, most likely to have a reason to blow a good 50-70 something dollars on alchohol, but oh well.

"dont pick up anything unecessary he says" komaeda huffed underneathe his breath.

izuru began to put the product away, telling komaeda to leave out the bottle and tylenol. when komaeda asked why those two specifics and izuru simply answered him with a "my head hurts" whenever alcohol was in hands reach before komaeda the only thing he could think about is how many times it was used as an excuse for multiple "affairs" that men and women in the movies he watched, used. komaeda enjoyed watching tv, especially the shitty, old televesion channels that izuru honestly couldnt ignore anymore than he already does. he ended up falling asleep on his hands 99% of the time, and the 1% he stayed awake was probably the ones komaeda dreaded the most. he enjoyed being beside izuru, and being able to just rest without being forced to run back and forth between the office, downstairs, and his room, but watching sex scenes with izuru was something he was almost 100% sure he could live without. it was so...awkward? no, awkward didnt even to begin to describe it. izuru would sigh, peer at komaeda, then take a unbelievably large gulp of whatever the fuck he was chugging down at that moment and lay back in the cushion of the couch and go deathly silent for the rest of the movie. when he brought it up after a few times, izuru told him he was asexual. his asexuality was complete bullshit to komaeda, who knew it was simply just selective.

becuase izurus talents allowed him to be extremely intelligent and reflexive, he could see every possible outcome of relationships, and nobody ever caught his eye, or atleast no one caught his eye enough for him to linger on them. that was, until komaeda. the only hint towards izuru wanting to have absolutely ANYTHING to do with him was that he was interesting and he "didnt know what in bloody hell" would happen next. komaeda remembered stiffling a laugh from his choice of words, thinking that he sounded so much like an elder that he couldnt believe he was 24.

he had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadnt noticed that izuru had disappeared somewhere in the house. the bottle and tylenol both missing from their place on the counter. had he been sitting there looking at nothing the whole time? he was sure that izuru had simply looked at him before leaving. it wasnt that izuru didnt care, but it was quite obvious when komaeda was troubled, and when he was just thinking about random shit from assumedly 3 years ago. shaking all of that off, izuru had mentioned they would talk when they were home, and he hadnt dragged komaeda to his room, which meant that he was waiting for komaeda when he was ready and oddly that scared him more than he could verbally explain. izuru did things to see what reaction he would get out of it, and this was defenitely one of his "i wonder what'll happen" moments. komaeda knew him too well, but was oh so weak to his experiments which he knew were inevitable at this point. he was practically hauling ass to izurus door before slowly creaking it open. he saw no sight of the long haired man before seeing movement on the balcony and stepping up to the glass. izuru tilted his head up, blowing out smoke from the cigarette he held between his fingers before bringing his lips back to it to inhale more. komaeda could honestly just admire him all day, but that was besides the point. izuru wanted to talk, and talk they would. komaeda took a deep breath before stepping out onto the balcony, izuru immediately motioning for him to sit, which he did. there was a moment of silence as izuru exhaled the awful tar inducing cigarette smoke before komaeda crossed his legs