Teach Me How To Be Okay

-III-

One sharp look  and komaeda had gone mute, not daring to risk anything because his mouth had developed a mind of its own. Komaedas mind spat venom at times where he was indirectly forced into silence. He would love to spit profanities at the man who he oh-so adored, at times where his standards were so miraculously high for someone such as lowly as komaeda himself, but knowing better, komaedas mouth stayed shut at all times.

"I have one question before you silence me to Oblivion" komaeda sighed, a bit upset . Izuru seemed to hesitate briefly before shifting in his seat "Continue"

"...would it be too much to ask if we could.."

He paused

"No..no...nevermind. I apologize for wasting your time" komaeda finally gave up, though he adored the undividing attention he received from izuru, he was getting greedy, and it was going to put him into trouble if he couldn't silence it now.

"Please do not open your mouth unless it is to speak." Izuru stated before pulling into the parking lot. Komaeda hadn't been paying too much attention to the road, so he hadn't noticed the sudden arrival. His lips parted briefly to apologize, before thinking better of it and fumbling with his seatbelt to get out. He heard izuru sigh before stepping out of the automobile. Komaeda followed, hearing the familiar click of the seatbelt, freeing him from the leather seat. His feet made soft crunches from the gravel below his feet as he slammed the door shut.

The cold air of the grocery store coated komaedas pale skin, causing him to hold himself. He noticed the stares izuru had been getting ever since they walked inside. He was irregular. He stood out. He was beautiful. Komaeda envied it. Not izuru, but those who were able to lay eyes upon him without the nervous tittering of being afraid to get caught.  Komaeda had stared at izuru from afar, though izuru was silent, he disliked the attention, unless of course, it was while they were talking, in which that case, izuru needed eye contact, or else he would simply drop the topic all together "I apologize. I should have advised you to bring a jacket of some sort" izuru spoke softly, only for komaeda to hear "please don't apologize. It's really not an issue.." komaeda spoke, though his voice dropped "I'm okay!" He suddenly piped up before raising both hands in the air "see? It's perfectly fine. Besides, someone as lowly as me shouldn't worry someone as above as yourself" komaeda grinned. Izurus eyes narrowed briefly before he nodded.

That was it? Nothing? No arguing? No...reassurance?

Komaedas mind whispered, clawing at his concious for a moment before he shook his head. Izuru had already began walking, komaeda beginning to follow close beside him "What all do we need?" Komaeda asked "enough to feed us for another week if possible" izuru replied. Komaeda frowned "the essentials.." he mocked "I'm asking that you don't grab anything unnecessary either" though the statement was more or so a warning. Komaeda was hesitant, wandering besides izuru and placing product in the basket. It was apparent just how useless komaeda really was when it came to top-shelf items. His height didn't quite make up for the lost space between his fingers and the shelf. It was at times irritating, because he was in a separate isle from the one he called hope, and had to endure the embarrassment and fear of dragging him to the shelf for assistance.

Komaedas ass was as good as dead as far as he was concerned. It became almost too apparent after asking for assistance the fourth time. Izuru sighed in utter defeat before mumbling "let's just stick to lower shelf items, komaeda" and tossing product into the basket. Soft red eyes lowering to meet his "you're not upset with me?" Komaeda asked. Izuru dejectedly avoided his puppy face, not willing to pity him in the slightest. "I'm not. There's absolutely nothing we can do about your height. I can't be mad at you for being short." Izuru replied, seeming to be amused. it wasnt direct, but the way he spoke seemed patronizing enough

Jeez, he was really breathtaking when he smiled.

Komaeda shook stray thoughts from his mind, a little happy that izuru hadn't been as upset as he'd made the impression of being. Though it was obvious that the constant runs from komaeda to wherever the hell he had been before were definitely not his fortay "let's go." Izuru motioned towards the checkout lane. komaeda desperately wanted to hold his hand, but knowing how touchy izuru was, there was a very low chance he would let him. there were things izuru allowed occasionally, and any type of physical contact was that, exactly. there were times where komaeda would be allowed to touch as he pleased, and he would be perfectly content with it, but this, this was not one of those time. komaeda felt the wait was worth it though. there was a specific reason why izuru didnt allow touch without consent, and it was defenitely understandable, but most would find it...unsettling to a certain extent. komaeda felt special that he was the only one who seemed to be this close to izuru. besides naegi-kun who occasionally came over to speak with izuru and ask how he was. izuru spoke alot with naegi. and not just when he was being asked questions, he spoke, in general. just speaking about the house, and komaeda sometimes came up as a topic which then resulted in him being called downstairs to mirror the exact conversation that naegi had just had with komaedas indirect romantic partner. 

romantic partner...?

"komaeda, you're zoning out again. is there something on your mind?" izuru cocked an eyebrow. 

if i answered would you brush me off? im just trash, theres no reason to make you worry

"no, im just a tad tired is all" he grinned. izuru obviously wasnt convinced, and silently mouthed "we'll talk at home" in response. komaeda frowned, mouthing back a silent "im fine, really"

"dont argue with me"

well, that shut komaeda up real quick. the ride back home consisted of anxiety and non-stop fidgeting which earned him a few concerned looks from former hope. komaeda didnt look forward to going home to the slightest, cycling through the possibilites of what could happen. and the one outcome that seemed so probable, it scared him. on the other hand, there was another that hit him so hard he actually flinched. there were two outcomes to izurus anger and irritation when he lost his patience. it was either komaeda got hit, or something, else. it was so rare though, so komaeda wasnt even preparing himself at this point.