OutlawQueen One Shots

The letter

Prompt - Depressed Regina

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It all started when Emma was injured during a fight and she was not there to protect her. Nothing serious happened to the blonde, but in Henry's eyes, his mother's absence was the only factor that caused the harm. When the boy barged into the mayoral mansion, the first thing he did was to yell at his mother for not being there to protect Storybrooke's people with her magic. It did not matter that she was feeling unwell and would have probably been useless in a fight, because Henry was still firmly convinced that she simply refused to help his other mother. So, he decided to pull away from her again. Henry refused to acknowledge Regina as his mother and recoiled from every attempt she made to talk to him. However, her heart could only take so much until it became completely numb to any emotion.

She had not left the house in over three weeks, and the only person whose presence was not immediately ushered away was Robin's. Regina could not bear to hear Snow's optimism, Emma's promises that she was not blaming her for anything, or even Henry's shy approaches when he finally understood the damage he caused. Robin was there, and he was silent. On her worst days, he just held her. He knew it would not cure everything, but he wanted her to know that she did not have to fight alone.
He was a witness when her heart shattered in a million pieces, her lungs seemed to close up and deny the air to ever leave them again, and the pain she went through somehow prevented her from crying or accepting any emotion.

By the time another week had ended, Regina would only leave her bed to use the toilet or to drink some water. Robin tried, he really did, but he could not get her to shower more than once. He always managed to change the bedsheets within the few minutes she was not there, trying to provide her with at least a little bit of comfort. Because she spent her days in bed, without any activity, Regina refused to eat pretty much anything Robin suggested, so she lost a significant amount of weight. When Robin held her at night, he felt that the firm curves he was used to had changed into pointy bones and cold skin. He understood that she would not listen to him if he spoke to her, or at least she would not allow herself to have a genuine reaction to it, so Robin eventually settled for writing her a letter. He would leave it on her nightstand, where she was sure to find it, and allow her to spend some time alone while he went out to get some groceries. The Charmings or Emma used to take care of bringing them food since Regina's collapse, but Robin decided that she needed to be alone while the letter was read .

"My dear Regina,
You are tired of feeling alone, of no one caring or even not feeling loved, I understand. You still consider that after everything you have done, you are not good enough. At some point, someone made you believe that you will never be enough, even though this will never be the case. You are, and have always been good enough.
Your story is unique and so different from anything anyone ever lived before. It is not worthy of comparison, and they should not get the opportunity to belittle you in any way.
It hurts me that you hate yourself, when there is so much to love inside your heart. Whenever I am with you, I feel like nothing can ever touch me or get in the way of my wellbeing. I want to be able to provide you with the same feeling, that nothing could happen to you as long as I am there. I know you do not need my help or protection, but I think it would be quite nice to be able to rely on someone, every now and then.
You never waiver in loyalty and you are always there, even when nobody else is. Do not let yourself think that if you missed that one time, you are not worthy anymore. I feel like I need to remind you that "your best" does not mean pushing yourself to the breaking point.
You are being dragged into a dark place, and not many people understand the strength you need to pull yourself out of it. I am so proud of you.
You could easily let yourself slip into your old habits and destroy everyone, but you do not. Instead, you destroy yourself, and it breaks me.
You believe that you are unlovable and everything that goes wrong is your fault, so you try to toughen up and say you do not care about the others. However, deep down, you are one of the most sensitive people I have ever met.
You give people the whole world even when yours is falling apart, and it takes a special person to do that.
You are trying to stay silent during these times because you are afraid of revealing too much, of burdening me with your pain. My dear, you can never be too much for someone who cannot get enough of you.
It is a comforting feeling to know that you have a person right next to you, someone who claims to be there through the tough times, but it is even more beautiful to have that someone prove that to you. I want to be that person for you, the one who supports you while you put the pieces back together.
You once told me that you were afraid of me seeing you the way you saw yourself, but the only thing I pray for is for you to see yourself the way I do.
Never forget how far you have come, and how much pain you have been through to get where you are. You emerged from it, even though you said you could not.
Sometimes, your scream for help is a soft whisper, and I vow to always be there to hear it.
They said you were too sensitive for taking your time during the past few weeks, but they do not understand the intensity with which you feel. Every word that has been said to you, every action they showed you, they all went straight to your heart. I pray that you will never leave me, and will allow me to always see that beautiful heart of yours.
My love for you will never be finite.

Yours,
Robin."

When Robin came back home a few hours later, he could smell the faint scent of Regina's shampoo. As he started walking towards their bedroom, the room she never seemed to leave, he noticed she was cuddled up on the sofa, in their living room. Her hair seemed just washed and she was wearing a fresh shirt and leggings. She smiled shyly and opened one arm, inviting him to hug her.

"Thank you for loving me."