2. Charge (A TFP Fanfiction)

Chapter 23

Taylor

I sat against the wall of the large room, hugging me knees and burying my face in it as well. Despite how big the space was, it felt constricting, like it was slowly swallowing me. I knew I had no hope of escaping myself. Over the past two days since my capture, I had tried to transform my hands into blasters or blades, in a small hope I could sneak out and shoot my way through any Deceptions coming. However, there were two reasons that plan would never work. One, it was utterly dire and overconfident. I couldn't just hope that I would make it through whatever threats came my way. I was only human, no matter how much I had changed, and stood no chance against an army of Vehicons. Two, my powers, even if I could use them, brought me immense pain. To my horror, I had discovered that transforming meant agony to my body. Sometimes it wouldn't even allow me to transform, my body probably keen to the fact that it was straining and hurting me. When I had realized this, all hope had seemed lost. I sat curled up, crying silently into my legs and wishing my guardian were here.

Sometimes I could feel his loneliness and worry, which only made me feel worse. I wondered why I could still, but I was mostly sorry for ever having to leave my love interest feeling that way in the first place. I could tell that he was struggling with his emotions now just as much as I was.

Not only was I suffering from his emotions and the loss of my abilities, my body and mind were also hurt because of the wretched Starscream. The seeker, ever his cruel nature, loved to do what he could to torture me for information. He was convinced that if he could get me to talk, Lord Megatron would be pleased with him, and all past problems would be put to and end. I was at first surprised to hear that he honestly didn't want to fight his master anymore, but that was quickly replaced with pain. Physical, emotional. As he would skim his claws down my arms or legs, enough to cut the skin and a little of the flesh, he enjoyed whispering harsh words into my ears, words that I could never escape nor ignore. No matter how much I wanted to.

You're useless, human femme. Whatever you were before is gone now, isn't it? Now you're nothing, just like the rest of your kind.

You ought to be less than your own kind now. You're a... freak, as what you humans call it? You're nothing like them. You had powers, now they are gone, and now you are no longer human. Just a wretched species for me to play with.

Do you honestly think anyone would care for you? Even your "guardian", the medic? Ratchet had never been one to particularly care for anyone.

At times like that, when he had talked about Ratchet that way, I had wanted so badly to snap at him, tell him that Ratchet wasn't like that. He cared so much for his team it almost hurt. He was a medic because he cared for his people, not just because he didn't enjoy fighting. However, I held my tongue and said nothing, always squeezing my eyes shut as tear flowed and trying to ignore the fire coming from my aching body.

Days of that torture left me to wonder if some of what he said was true. My 'gifts', at the moment, were truly gone. Whenever I tried, it was pain, and/or nothing. Only a short while ago, I would have been grateful, overjoyed. The things that made me a freak, that my horrible 'father' had given me without a second thought, would never hinder me again. Now, I missed them a little bit. Maybe a part of me had hoped that those things made me closer to Ratchet, more like him, in a way. That, and at times like these, I had to admit, they were useful. And even though they were gone, I still had Energon flowing through my body. I still was different. I could never be truly human again.

Maybe some would find that interesting, or even fun. I'm sure Miko would. Which was a bit comforting, knowing that she, and the other kids too, would never really abandon me. Yet I had a sense of doubt for the rest of human kind, and even for the Autobots. Would they think differently of me now? Had they already?