The Ambrose Asylum

Chapter Twenty-Three

AJ's POV

Five fucking days.....

Five days of being smothered and guarded.

Five days of living out a car with Dean.

Now don't get me wrong I love the attention and how passionate he is but since we've left Illinois dean killed nine people in only two states. Currently we're in Valentine, Nebraska and I feel like I need a break.

I'm standing under a tree a few feet away from the car and where Dean is laying on the hood,and if I'm right he should be calling me in 3,2,1.....

"AJ come here" he demanded more then requested. I stayed leaning against the tree ignoring him. "AJ" he spoke slowly.

"I wanna stay here for a while longer" I told him unsure.  "Why?" he questioned eyeing me.

"Because...." I trailed off, "Say what's on your mind beautiful" he said calmly looking at the sky once again.

"Because your smothering me" I told him boldly and saw him tense soon after.

"You wanna leave me?" he pondered aloud. He got off the car and walked over to me slowly until I was cornered in the tree. His eyes held such pain and sorrow and his arms encircled my waist pulling me firmly against him.

"I don't wanna leave you and I'm not gonna leave you not now not ever.....I promise" I told him placing my hands on his cheeks.

He smiled a sad smile and told me not to make promises I can't keep. He gave me a soft peck and walked back to the car telling me to take as much time as I needed before climbing in the back and laying down.

Dean so unstable mentally and physically. I want to be with him but I also don't want to receive whiplash from all his mood changes.

After another twenty minutes or so of thinking I decided it was time to call it a night and headed to join Dean. When I climbed in he wasn't sleep at all,he was shaking.

"Dean" I whispered. He shot up and latched onto me crying in my shoulder,I rubbed his back while carding my fingers through his hair. I waited for him to calm down and gave him the chance to explain if he wanted.

"I'm a fuck up. I hurt any and everyone I meet. It's because of that no one love me" he told me tears still running down his face.

"Oh dean none of that's true" I told him.

"But it is, my own family left me to rot in that hell hole we called home and make me think I'm crazy when I'm not" he said and I was confused but didn't ask questions.

"I don't want to kill anyone but I can't control it anymore and I know I'm not strong enough to let you go but I can't be the one who kills you, I don't think I would survive a second time" he stated as his tears dried and he looked absentmindedly behind me.

We both stayed their in place for a moment before he laid back down and told me to close the door. I did and I laid on top of him before speaking again.

"Are you ok now?" I asked quietly.

"Yea" he responded closing his eyes and hugging me tighter.

We drifted off both unsure of where the road will lead us.

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We had stayed in Nebraska for the last few days were still camped out in the same spot.

Dean still hovers but too a degree and in the few places we've been for food no ones been murdered so it's a step in the right direction. I was setting up a make shift picnic and waiting for Dean to return since it was his idea.

Dean greeted me with flowers and wine and it's nice seeing him be so romantic.

He gave them to me while planting a kiss on my cheek as I thanked him. We sat on the blanket and began to converse on the most random things while eating gas station hot dogs and other snacks.

It was simple but serene and this is what we needed a moment to relax and just be free from everything weighing down. We put everything away and laid back on the blanket me snuggling on Dean chest and him wrapping his arms around me as we stared at the starry night shy enjoying the silence and comfort of each other andDean seemed to be completely at ease and I know at this small moment that I loved Dean but he didn't love me not really.

I sat up at that realization and told dean I was getting cold and sleepy and we packed up and settled in the car to sleep. "We're leaving on the morning" he told me and I responded with a okay before I forced myself to sleep.

I was woken up hours later and looked like the sun was rising and Dean was driving I leaned my head on the window pondering how I got to this point in my life.

Eventually I got tired of being alone with myself and climbed into the front seat turning on the radio settling for a pop station turning my head back to the window to watch the world pass by.

Dean intertwined our hands as I turned my attention to him and he threw one of his famous sexy smirks at me causing me to smile and I leaned over kissing his cheek before day dreaming again.

Dean's gonna break my heart....

Sad part is I'd let him do it repeatedly because I love him unconditionally.

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A/N: I'm sorry for the hiatus on the story had some major writers block. Anyway..... happy new year everyone, hopefully the next decade doesn't suck as bad as the last. Kidding but not really.......