Birthday- Joe and Dianne One Shots

Joe- Thirty Two

"How is it already our last full day?" Joe asked, as he came back into their villa bedroom carrying two Coffees.

"I know," she pouted, following him with her eyes. He put a coffee on her bedside table and kissed it away. "But I have to get back to offer my choreographic wisdom to strictly." Dianne yawned, pulling the covers up with her as she sat up.

"Do you want a top, wife?" Joe asked, noticing she was hiding behind the covers.

"If you would husband, I don't want to spill coffee on my boob," Dianne replied in a posh voice, trying to mirror Joe's.

"Here you go, I'll just open the curtains." Joe said, passing her his top. He walked over and opened them, revealing the view they had gotten very used to over the last 2 weeks.

"Happy Birthday Babe, I totally forgot to say," Dianne kissed him again, as he got back into bed.

"Thank you," Joe said, taking a bite of the pastry he had got for himself.

"I think your mum called when you were in the kitchen but I couldn't answer because you know." She gestured to her body.

"You were starkers," Joe smirked, grabbing his phone, ringing his mum back.

"Hello, Mr and Mrs Sugg, how's the honeymoon going, how's your birthday been?" Tracey said, as soon as the camera connected.

"The honeymoon is lovely and we're sad we're flying back tomorrow. As for the birthday I've had 20 minutes of it, 10 of which I was waiting for the kettle to boil."

"Ah, have you just woken up, what time is it?" She asked, and he could see her trying to work it out.

"It's like 10, we had quite a late one last night," Joe said, sliding his hand higher on Dianne's leg, suggestively.

"Celebrating, were you?"

"Something like that," Dianne nodded, swigging her coffee.

"So I'm guessing you've not opened your card?"

"No, why?" Joe asked, looking at the pile of cards Dianne had got out ready last night.

"Open it now," Tracey said, excited. Joe passed his phone to Dianne and got up. "Look Hugie its Mummy," Tracey turned the camera so Dianne could see.

"Oh look at my biggest boy, we miss you," Dianne said, wanting to reach through and scratch his ear.

"Which one is it mum?" Joe held up 4 cards, that all had the word Joseph on. He knew 1 was Zoë, 1 was his mum, 1 his dad and 1 was from his Nanna Carole who was still fit as a fiddle in her ripe old age, he just wasn't sure which 'Joseph' was his mum's.

"The fourth one, the blue envelope," Tracey said, once she had switched the camera back to her. Joe held it up to confirm and ripped it open when she nodded.

"It's 300 Fijian Dollar for you and your beautiful wife to get a massage on your last day, I hope it's enough," Tracey explained as Joe held the money up, reading the card, that explained it anyway.

"Oh Mum, thank you, oh that's more than enough, we haven't managed to get there yet, we saved today to be our relaxation day so its perfect." Joe explained, tugging Dianne closer to him.

"Good, and it'll buy you a couple of snacks for the flights too. Dianne your mum and dad left their albums and your dad's watch is still sat on my mantle piece, have you got an address I can send it to? Oh and I think I've got Billy's teddy in my spare room."

"Don't bother Trace, I'll get Joe to pick them up when we get back, we need to send a few things to Oz anyway and it's so pricey we may as well send them all together." Dianne said, knowing she wanted to send thank you cards a few birthday presents and their wedding album over so there was no point.

"Alright then, well I'll be off, I'm in the car at a petrol station, on my way back from Zo's" the pair said their goodbyes and the villa was plunged into peaceful silence once more.

"I reckon they'll be having a baby soon," Dianne smiled, she reckoned they'd be having one soon as well, "Zo and Alf."

"Yeah, do you know who else?" Joe asked, climbing over her.

"W-who?" Dianne asked, feeling rather warm all of a sudden.

"Us," he pressed a seductive kiss on her lips and slid her down the bed.

Let's just say they needed that massage later on... 😝