Chapter Six:
Today I got transferred from Honors English to Creative Writing Class. I guess it's similar. I don't really know. I honestly don't really care.
I only pretend to care for Mum and Dad. And Whitney. People say she deserves better and she does.
She's a loyal girlfriend and a nice person, but I can't make myself love her anymore than I can make myself love myself. She's beautiful and kind and funny and she needs someone better, but I know that she doesn't want anyone else. She is stubborn and quite obviously does not make good choices. I am a bad choice.
Stay away.
Don't go into the darkness.
But Whitney disobeyed.
I come home from school and practice my violin for Mum and Dad. It sounds screechy and it wails morosely, the notes sounding tortured. They don't care. They know that I do it for them. I date Whitney for their sake. They need to think that I like my life. If I gave indication and evidence that I was going to kill myself, they would try and stop me. I can't have that happen.
They won't stop me. That way, the pain won't be as long-lasting for them.
I'm killing myself for me, but I'm also killing myself for Whitney. And Mum and Dad. My death will make everything and everyone better. I know it will.
That's why I want it to happen soon. I'm not scared of death. Just the opposite. I look forward to it. I want rest. I want peace. I don't want this life anymore. Maybe if I was someone else, I could learn to love my life. But I'm not. So I can't.
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Thirteen
Teen FictionShe's waiting for the day when she can sink the knife a little deeper, throw herself down a little farther. She is tired. She wants rest. She is waiting. He's waiting for the day when his stomach shrinks into nothingness, until he can take his last...
