Chet's Weight Loss Diary

Adulthood

Chester was now an adult. He has graduated high school and started a job at the local fire hall.

As an obese man in a world that discriminates due to weight, it was hard for him to find love. As if love wasn't hard enough to find already.

One day while the fire station was hosting a chicken bbq banquet, he met a biker chick who was riding through town.

He knew she was the one.

Her dark long hair, her dark chocolate eyes, her leather jacket.... she had to be made just for him.

He got down on his knees and yelled "THANK YOU GOD FOR BRINGING THIS WOMAN INTO MY LIFE"

Everyone looked and laughed.

There on the ground, was this obese man, screaming.

When he tried to get up he realized he was stuck! He tried laying down in the ground and realized he had only made it worse. He was rolling and flopping around.

It took 6 men to get his fat ass up.

After realizing he didn't look too cool doing that he figured he'd just make the first move.

He walked over to the woman.

"Hey. I'm Chet."
He attempted to do a cool nod but his chins were just flapping in the wind.

She laughed.

"I'm Marie."

"Marrrriiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee" he repeated dazing into her eyes. She thought he sounded like a pedophile.

She looked at him and held in another laugh. She continued to eat her chicken. By the time she was done there was barbecue sauce all over her face.

"Don't worry babe!" Chester exclaimed.
He grabbed her and pulled her close. He stuck his tongue out and licked her face clean. He even made the disgusting noise people make when they're pretending to lick someone... only difference was, he wasn't pretending.

Her face was beyond moist. For some reason.. she liked this freak of a man.

2 years later....

It was Christmas Eve and Chet was excited to be taking his girlfriend on a date.

There was a knock at the door and he waddled his way through the house.

He opened the door with a mouth full of cookies and 6 others in his hand.

His voice was muffled by the cookies when he said " hewwo butifl."

She smiled and came in the house.

He swallowed.
"Where would you like to go on a date?"

They walked to the living room.

"I'm not sure.. any ideas?"

He laid down on the futon and was grabbing at his stomach.
"I'm not sure but it's gonna have to wait.. my tumtum hurts"

She sat next to him.

When his father came home he found the two love birds passed out on the futon covered in cookie crumbs.

"CHESTER HOWARD!!"

The lovers jumped awake.

"It's 9 o'clock at night. Don't you think you should exchange gifts and say your good nights?"

"OH YES! I almost forgot about your gift baby!"
Chet slowly rolled off of the futon and waddled over to the tree.

He grabbed a massive shitly wrapped present and dragged it over.

Marie opened it.

To her surprise, Chester had bought her a tool box filled with tools for Christmas.

A toolbox.

What was she to do with a toolbox and tools?

"I love it...." she slowly and sarcastically said.
He didn't notice the sarcasm in her voice. He smiled a big ass grin from ear to ear.

"I knew you would baby! Now what did you get me?"
His eyes looked at her with a crazy glare. His look had both greed and eager in it.

She handed him an even bigger yet nicely wrapped present.

He wasted no time opening it.

Once it was fully unwrapped he shrieked like a little girl. His present was one of those massive sample boxes mixed with meats, cheese, crackers, cookies, popcorns, and candies.

He opened that bitch right up and devoured it.

They would break up a couple of days later.