Mountains Shelter Secrets (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

VII - Long Into An Abyss

For the past hour, Bellamy had been throwing me dirty looks, and I was getting sick of it. I knew all of us were on edge, stressed about Lincoln, about waiting for the sun to rise to fetch Clarke. But if he could just give me a break from the shade, that would have made everything a little more bearable.

Lincoln had woken up about a half hour ago, and spent the whole time roaring, spitting, thrashing about, and I hated that I didn't feel anything but indifference. Sure, I hoped our plan worked and Clarke could do something to help him. But I wasn't fazed at all by his anger, maybe because it matched my own right now. I just wasn't acting on it. Yet.

Now, Lincoln was still. Once he'd seemed to realize he wasn't going to be able to escape, he just stood there, watching us with eyes full of blood-lust. Eerie silence hung around the drop ship, and I couldn't help but feel for Octavia. She wasn't doing so good. I could see in her eyes that she was torturing herself, but there was nothing I could do to comfort her, to help. Only saving him would do anything for her.

I looked up at Bellamy to find him staring at me, eyes narrowed. I rolled my eyes and got to my feet.

"Octavia," I said, my voice gruff. "Will you be okay with Lincoln for a few minutes? I need a word with your brother."

She raised an eyebrow, surprised, but nodded without protesting. I headed down the ladder and Bellamy followed me in complete silence. I stopped once I reached the first level, and waited with a blank face for him to join me.

"What?"

"Care to explain why you're so goddamn mad at me?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Not really."

I tapped my foot in annoyance. In the corner of my eye, I spotted my knife, still in the same spot I'd left it all that time ago. Without another word, I turned and scooped it up from the floor. Turning back to Bellamy, I made eye contact with him as I touched the tip of the knife to my finger and spun it. Prickles of pain crept around the tip of my finger, but it was nothing. Making a point of being imposing, however, was everything.

"How about now?"

Bellamy scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay, firecracker. Like you're going to stab me."

"You said to me once a long time ago I was not to be underestimated."

For a moment, we stared each other down and then I sighed, exasperated. I tucked the knife in my boot. "Fine. I wasn't going to stab you. But we gotta talk, Bel. I hate this weirdness between us. Ever since we got back from Tondc, we haven't been...right."

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair, making his dark curls wilder than ever. It was cute. "I'm pissed because you keep shutting me out, for one."

I bit my lip and cast my gaze down. "Right. I'm sorry. It really is just worry. I've never been more scared for our friends. What if we can't get them out? I saw what they do in there and it was horrible. Horrible, Bel. And I think about it every day. I see our friends in those cages, hung upside down, and I can't handle it."

My voice was taut, straining to keep steady and hold in my tears. I hadn't realized how crippling my concern was until now. It really was the root of all my problems.

When Bellamy spoke, his voice was much softer, much less defensive. "We're going to save them. None of us are giving up until our people are safe. I certainly won't. You don't have to carry that burden by yourself any more. I'm here. I'll always be here for you."

I smiled, and stepped towards him. "I know. I guess...I guess I just needed to hear it out loud. Which is dumb. I trust you with my life, so shouldn't I trust you with my anxieties?"